Coincidence? I think not!

“It was amazing how you could get so far from where you'd planned, and yet find it was exactly were you needed to be.” Sarah Dessen, American writer (b1970)

A series of remarkable events led me to this moment in time. Some would call it coincidence, but the series of “happenings” seemed too intentional to be coincidence.

It was Wednesday morning and I was seated in the Deacon’s Chair next to the Pastor, Father Paul, who was presiding at the Mass. I had met Father Paul 2-3 years earlier when he had sought my advice on introducing stewardship to his parish.

His parish, Holy Name of Jesus Church, is a heavily-interracial parish in south/central Los Angeles at the corner of Jefferson and Arlington. I was assisting at the Mass for the 6^th through 8^th graders from the elementary school attached to the parish.

We had just sat down following the opening rite. I cast a quick glance at Father Paul to make sure he was settled. It was then that my eye fell upon the huge stained glass window overlooking the altar from a side apse. The image of St. Peter Claver compassionately staring down at a slave he was blessing triggered a recollection of the events of the past two and a half weeks.

Less than three weeks earlier, I received a kind but hurried call advising me that once again I had been the first runner-up to a job I thought was perfect for me. Fueled by frustration, I quickly jumped back onto the Web and resumed my job search.

Almost immediately I found a job opening at a church whose name was familiar, though at the time I didn’t realize why. Quickly I assembled the requisite documents and emailed them off. In less than a day, I received a return call from “Cathy.”

After asking some basic informational questions, she unexpectedly asked,  “Can you meet with me tomorrow.” My hopes sank for a moment. I had an important meeting already scheduled for the next day. “Where would you like to meet me?” I asked guardedly. “Well, I live in Pasadena, “she began. This time my heart leapt, because my meeting was in Pasadena. Our meeting was quickly arranged at a coffee shop just two blocks from the location of my other meeting.

The interview was for a position as a Director of Marketing and Development for an inner-city Catholic Elementary school. 95% of their graduates go on to college.  The intent is to attract more students, but to do so they need to raise the money to subsidize the school as well as other necessary expenses and improvements.

Cathy and I hit it off immediately. Oddly, we could not quite determine how my documents made it to Cathy in the first place, since it appeared I applied to a job web posting that did not exist. Just a coincidence we thought. 

After about an hour, Cathy announced she was going to recommend me to the next interview level. To my shock, one of the two interviewers in the next round was another person I knew – Julie.

Friday of the same week, I had the next interview, and by the end of the week in which I had applied, I managed to satisfactorily complete all but one of the required interviews. On Tuesday of the following week, I attended my final interview with Father Paul and the Principal, Marva. And I discovered at the interview that President of the Parents Advisory Board was also an acquaintance – Audrey.

The job offer was made on Wednesday, I accepted on Thursday, and I started work the following Tuesday.

On my first day, each class took a turn coming to visit me to welcome me. Each class brought hand-crafted cards. The outside doors of their classrooms displayed “Welcome, Deacon Jim” signs. I knew I was where I belonged.

A day later, I was serving at my first school Mass, and there was St Peter Claver watching over me. Why is that special you might ask? Well, he’s the Patron Saint of my home parish… Obviously he was checking in to make sure I was OK. Just a coincidence?

We are often quick to exclaim: “Wow, what a coincidence!” I have a friend, Mary, who always says: “Coincidence? I think not.” It’s her mantra, in fact.

For some reason, we are more willing to believe the world operates on some kind of chancy randomness –a series of cosmic rolls of the dice – rather than the more obvious conclusion that there is an ongoing intelligent design at work. carefully guided by a supreme power. There is a plan, and we are very much a part of that plan! 

By moving forward with faith that God has a plan in operation, we can often move from one encounter to the next almost effortlessly.  As stewards of this life God has given us, we come to accept the reasons for things are rarely readily-apparent, but the opportunities abound if we open our eyes to them. 

This does not mean we wait around for an inspiration or divine intervention.  Rather, we are called to make the best beginning we can.  The more we do, driven by love and not ego, the more we sense a direction. 

When we go with God’s flow, things just seem to happen miraculously. When, on the other hand, we think we have a better way…when we insist on having things our way, the green lights and blue skies sometimes fade and are replaced by blank walls and dead ends.

The Lord is making miracles all the time.  You are one of them. 

Dear God: Help me to live the life you have planned for me. 

“We aren’t just thrown on this earth like dice tossed across a table. We are lovingly placed here for a purpose. ~Charles Swindoll, American evangelical Christian pastor, author, educator and radio preacher (b1934)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Coming Alive!

“It’s faith in something and enthusiasm for something that makes a life worth living.” ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, American physician, poet, writer, humorist and Harvard professor (1809-1894)

(Adapted from a story told by Annie Griffiths, photographer for National Geographic)

Annie was looking out her bedroom window as the sun poked its head over eastern horizon. The tendrils of light it produced crept out over the plains. The day was perfect. It would be perfect for the pictures she intended to shoot today.

Still at the window, Annie was finishing her coffee when she heard a rumbling sound. At first it sounded like morning thunder, but it was too rhythmic and it was getting progressively louder.  She leaned out her window so she could look directly in the direction of the sound. Then she saw source of the amazing sound.

Over the crest of distant rise came a herd of perhaps twenty beautiful horses. Though they were coming at a full canter they seemed to glide effortlessly over the ground.

An instant later Annie grabbed her camera bag from the Queen Anne chair in her room. She shot down the stairs and out the door into the morning sunlight. She was headed for the pasture gate. Somehow she instinctively knew that’s where they were headed as well.

Arriving at the gate she slid the camera body from its bag and with smooth, practiced precision she twisted the appropriate lens into place. Annie quickly turned in the direction of the oncoming thunder of hooves and an instant later the herd cleared the brow of the last hill.

With effortless skill she began clicking off pictures in rapid succession. Turning and firing, turning and firing. She could have easily been in the gunfight at the OK Corral, instinctively turning, finding another perfectly composed image, then squeezing off a deadly accurate shot to capture it.

Finally, the horses came to a stop around the edges of the fence. Annie clicked off a few more pictures and then relaxed. Then a strange sensation came over her as if someone were watching her. She turned around. There, leaning against a fence, were four cowboys who had watched her photographic frenzy with mild amusement. One or two of them touched the brim of their hats. “Morning Ma’am,” they each said almost simultaneously.

Annie nodded and smiled back. Then the strange sensation returned. Though she had instinctively grabbed her camera bag, in her hurry to be at the right place at the right time, she had overlooked one other thing.

It was then that Annie realized she had forgotten to dress and was standing there in her underwear!

The great churchman and civil rights leader, Rev. Howard Thurman once said: “Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

When it comes to being stewards of our gifts of talent, each of us is uniquely gifted to help save the world. Each of us is truly one of a kind. This means we are vested with the responsibility to take the time to discern those talents and cultivate them.

Unfortunately, we often limit ourselves to “what is available.” We volunteer out of a sense of responsibility to our church, our community or some organization, and only when the opportunity presents itself, rather than out of a passionate response to the wonderful gift God has made of us.

Conversely, those of us who go looking for volunteers, usually solicit those who have the time, rather those who have the talent. We should be recruiting those who will “come alive” within a given ministry or volunteer opportunity.  People driven by the passion of doing what they love have an uncanny way of making the time for it.

Early in my career as a Deacon, a parishioner asked me to intercede with the Pastor regarding a new ministry he wanted to start. I dutifully made an appointment with the Pastor and started to make my case. Father smiled patiently and put up his hand. “I’ve already spoken with him,” he said. “If he really had the passion to start that ministry, he wouldn’t need to ask you to talk to me. If someone is truly passionate nothing will stop him.”

The world does need people who have come alive. Be passionate. Be so passionate, in fact, that you forget to put your pants on.

Dear Lord: Help me to come alive.

“Chase down your passion like it's the last bus of the night.” ~ Glade Byron Addams

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship”  All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Depth of Character

“Life just seems so full of connections. Most of the time we don’t even pay attention to the depth of life. We only see flat surfaces.” ~ author unknown

 Nathan always arrived at the coffee emporium early.  There was a special spot, an inset in the wall, which created a kind of three-sided cubicle. And with an outlet nearby it was perfect. 

 

Every morning Nathan would slide one of the single tables into place, hook up his laptop, electronic notebook and Smartphone, order a double skinny latte, into which he poured three packs of sugar, then hunker down for the next three plus hours. The place even had free Wi-Fi.  In went his ear buds, and the world and its problems disappeared into oblivion.

Charlie, 70 years old and a widower, came to the coffee emporium everyday to read his newspaper. He could make coffee and read the paper at home, but the big old house was just too quiet now that Madeline was gone. He missed Maddy, and the bustle of the coffee shop took his mind off his loneliness.

For some time now he had been observing Nathan. The boy never seemed to talk to anyone. Heck, he never seemed to even look up from whatever it was he was doing! Charlie, on the other hand, talked to everyone. The “coffee girls” all knew him by name as well as did a number of the patrons.

Nathan noticed that the old guy in the cardigan sweater, seated at the small table by the window, seemed to be watching him.   He wondered who the old dude was. “He reads a newspaper for God’s sake!” he thought. “Who even does that anymore??? I can read any one of 100 papers from around the world anytime I want. Sheesh!”

To his surprise Nathan realized the “old guy” had risen from his seat and appeared to be coming toward. “Ahhh man, I hope he doesn’t come over here,” thought Nathan. “WHAT A DRAG!”

Charlie stopped in front of the young man’s table and extended his hand. “Hi, I’m Charlie” he said, but the young man just stared at him. Then he realized Nathan still had “those things” in his ears. “Hi! I’m Charlie!” he said louder, extending his hand more emphatically.

Nathan plucked out his ear buds. “Nathan,” he responded. “Whaddya want?”

“Nothing, really; it’s just that I see you in here all the time and I thought I’d introduce myself.”

“Yeah, OK,” Nathan replied slowly replacing his ear buds. Then he stopped. “Why do you read a newspaper?” he asked pointedly. Charlie blinked in surprise. “Well,” he began, “every morning I check the Obituaries in section D and if my name’s not listed I figure I’m going to have a good day.”

Nathan didn’t get the joke, but Charlie took the opening. “Why do you hunker back here in the corner by yourself?” he asked with a genuine note of concern. “I’m multi-tasking,” Nathan replied curtly. Charlie thought for a moment. “Is that sort of doing a lot of different things all at once without paying attention to any one thing?”

“Yeah, something like that,” Nathan scowled, sticking one ear bud back in place.

“Would you like to borrow my paper?” Charlie asked.  “Seriously?” Nathan barked. “What would I want your newspaper for?”  “Maybe you’d like to check the weather?” Charlie offered.

“I can check the CURRENT weather anytime I need to…  In fact, I can check just about anything I want right from here…  See? Or anytime any place for that matter!”

“No need to get your boxers in a bunch,” Charlie answered calmly. “Just thought I’d make some conversation.” He started to turn back toward his table.

Nathan thought for a moment. “Wait a minute, come back a second.” Charlie turned to face him again. “Why did you really come over here?” Nathan asked pointedly.

“Truth be told?” Charlie began. “I never see you talking to anyone. You always seem distant, lonely.  I know how that feels.  I never see anybody sitting with you so I thought you might like someone to talk to for awhile.  But if you’re busy multi-whatevering,  I understand.”

Nathan’s screen had timed out and gone blank. It reminded him how empty he felt when he wasn’t busy filling the void in his life with electronic interference.  He closed the lid on the laptop and pulled out the one remaining ear bud. “Why don’t you sit down for a minute?” Nathan said with a sigh of what seemed like relief.

“First, let me buy you a cup of coffee,” Charlie replied with a smile. “You drink one of those Latte things don’t you?”

Contrary to popular belief, “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” (Pierre Teilhard de Chardin). But there is much in our lives which distracts us from “being” the spiritual beings we really are.

The electronic devices which make our communication so simple and efficient are a great gift, but they can also become a dangerous narcotic. While they allow us to do many things at once, they can also cause us to be inattentive to more than one thing at once. (And perhaps, even inconsiderate of more than one person at once.)  So much so that we can become inattentive to our lives and the lives of others. We find ourselves skittering along the surface of life rather than diving into it, plumbing its depths.

In order to live deeply, we must acknowledge that our life is “grace-filled.”  There is often much love and wisdom in the world resident in people like Charlie. Do we take the time to see the grace in others and share the grace within ourselves?

We must also come to the realization that no matter how much we have or how much we accomplish, power, prestige and possessions will never give us the satisfaction we desire.  Ego is an insatiable beast. It tortures us by only giving us glimpses of happiness.

If we are to become stewards of our own lives, we must, like Nathan, be willing to change. We must embark intentionally on our own journey of faith. This will mean taking time daily to plumb the depths of our spirituality and bring our new found realizations into our everyday life.  The first step is to be willing to take the first step. Like Charlie, there are many spirit guides out there, waiting and wanting to help.

Dear God: Remind me that life is sometimes like a glass of chocolate milk. The sweet stuff is often at the bottom.

“It is easier to perceive error than to find truth, for the former lies on the surface and is easily seen, while the latter lies in the depth, where few are willing to search for it.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe, German playwright, poet, novelist and dramatist (1749-1832).

Connect with me: www.linkedin.com/pub/deacon-jim-carper/4/3b1/901 Twitter: @DeaconJimCarper

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Doin God's Work

“God is a good worker but loves to be helped.” ~ Basque Proverb

It had been a “rollercoaster ride” of a day. Fridays were always hectic. But this one had gotten off to a less than auspicious start. Out of work, and looking for a job for the past six months, I had finally made it to the “final three.” Interviews for the top three candidates had been held on the previous Thursday.

Leaving the building afterwards, I felt I had nailed the interview. But after waiting tensely for over a week, the call came that morning as I was leaving the house. “We so much enjoyed interviewing you, but we found a candidate whose skills were more closely aligned with what we were looking for,” said the chirpy voice.

I thanked her graciously, clicked off, and headed for my parish to serve at morning Mass ­– still unemployed. Fridays are my day to give the homily and this Friday was no different.

As I was greeting in the narthex after Mass, a group of teenage voices started to sing a familiar tune. I turned to find 20-plus teenagers singing Happy Birthday… to me! My birthday had been earlier in the week, but it didn’t matter; here they were singing to me.
Afterwards, I ducked into the sacristy.

Removing my vestments and slipping into my jacket, I headed out the door to my little, old, pickup truck. Fridays are also the day I do a prayer service and visit with residents at the senior care center near the parish.

My cell phone blinged as I was climbing into the truck. Quickly checking the screen, I instantly recognized the name of the sender. Her Dad, an old friend of mine, had died in the spring.

Clicking open the email, I read a heartfelt text thanking me for a blog post I had sent at 5:00 am that morning: “Your writing reminded me that I need to remember the great times we had while he was here” it read. 

Tossing the phone onto the passenger’s seat, I pulled my keys from my pocket. The truck reluctantly came to life as I turned the key in the ignition. I rolled out of the parking lot and headed for the senior facility.

Once there, I conducted a Communion service. One of the attendees came with her dog. She wasn’t Catholic, but she likes to participate. I blessed her (and her dog) anyway.

During my room-to room-visits, a man shared with me that he had been diagnosed with cancer and probably had less than four months to live. I sat and listened to him as he talked about his life.

At 11:15 am, my rounds completed, I was sitting in the activities coordinator’s office. Flo asked how things were going. I quickly recapped the events of the day including the early morning phone call. “I just wish I could find a job” I concluded. 

“Deacon Jim,” she replied with a smile, “Sounds to me like you are employed. You’re just not getting paid for it.”

Someone once wrote that “if you want to make God smile, tell him your plans.” Many of us go through life allowing our work, our occupations, our careers to define who we are. In doing so, we surrender ourselves to the whims of the world. We may even go so far as to say we are looking for “meaningful work.”

But, when those jobs go away, we can be left wondering who we are and doubting our self worth. Careers are a slippery slope because, sooner or later, they end. And whatever gratification they provide, ends with them.

As Christian stewards we hold a different view. God created each of us with a unique combination of gifts to be used to better the world. We are called to identify, cultivate, and utilize those gifts.

Careers can temporarily fulfill our egos, but doing God’s work can fill our hearts and our spirits. Doing what God created us to do rarely fails to give us satisfaction and a sense of purpose.

Certainly, jobs are necessary to provide material sustenance, but sustaining our spirits is even more important. God doesn’t pay us in cash though we often wish he would, but you can’t beat his retirement plan!

Dear God: Thy will be done – even when I don’t like the job description.
 

“All I have seen teaches me to trust the Creator for all I have not seen.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, American essayist, lecturer, and poet (1803-1882)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Just Drop It!

“Hanging onto a resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head” ~Ann Landers, American Advice columnist (1918-2002)

It was all just so stupid and unnecessary. I wasn’t even paying attention. The big, black Escalade came across in front of me so quickly that I impulsive laid on the horn. In a flash the driver of the Escalade slammed on his brakes and started waving his middle index finger at me. I knew he wasn’t telling me I was “number 1.” Veering to the right onto the shoulder, simultaneously slamming on the brakes I barely missed his right rear fender as I skidded onto the shoulder.

The Escalade accelerated away. I jerked the wheel to the left pulling my car back onto the highway and took off after him. Soon I was gaining on the Escalade though I had no idea what I would do if and when I caught up to him. I was closing and would be on top of him in moments.

Then, without any indication, the heavy SUV swerved right and rocketed down an exit ramp as I shot helplessly by. The last thing I saw was the driver once again indicating I was “number 1” laughing as he did so.

Most of us probably have a similar story. The question is how much of the rest of the day did I allow my highway opponent to occupy. In my case, I gave up most of the day telling and retelling the story of the “jerk who nearly wrecked my car.”

When I wasn’t sharing my misery with others, I was busy replaying the incident over and over in my head imagining the things I might have done or should have done. In effect, I did little, other than to wear a groove in my brain assuring the incident would not be soon forgotten.

There are tribesmen in Africa who have made an art out of trapping monkeys. A heavy cage with narrow bars is filled with bananas and placed in an area frequented by the unsuspecting creatures. Inevitably at least one monkey will discover the cage and stick his hand through the narrow bars.

Once the creature clutches a banana in his paw however he is unable to retract it from the cage. Sadly, all the animal needs to do is drop the banana and run away, but instead they allow themselves to be captured rather than just let go.

We are called to be good stewards of our time. Unfortunately we often misuse or give that time away unnecessarily because we just can’t seem to let go of things. Certainly I had a right to be surprised or startled by the incident with the driver of the Escalade. Unfortunately, I gave away the rest of the day resenting him and trying to justify myself – not a good use of the time God had given me.

It is not always easy to make good use of the time God gives us each day. Our egos mislead us into believing we are always right and we go looking for vindication. So we try to place blame or seek retribution for the situations in which we find ourselves, rather than seek positive solutions.

Life is meant to be lived joyously and well. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to spend the time God has given us unproductively dragging around the problems, resentments, and issues of the past; instead we can simply “drop the banana.”

Dear Lord: Remind me there are times I need to let go of things.

“Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night, they are eating at you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale, American Clergyman and Writer (1898-1993)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Spiritual Filler

“When you can stop you don't want to, and when you want to stop, you can't...”
~Luke Davies, Australian novelist, poet and screenwriter (b1962) from his novel Candy

Adam liked to stop after work for a beer with his buddies from the marketing department. Lately he was noticing he was always the last one to leave. Sometimes he would order a shot of whiskey just to “brace himself” for the drive home. His wife had been complaining about how late he arrived home. His excuse was always the same: “It was work related!”

Esther loved to go shopping. She couldn’t resist a bargain and, after all, look how much money she was saving. It didn’t matter that the clothes she bought often hung in the closet for months untouched with the labels still on or that the products she purchased went unused and unreturned. Lately she had started getting second and third notices on her credit card bills, but it didn’t matter, even with the penalty fees she was still saving money, wasn’t she?

Bob was always the first one to arrive at and the last one to leave work. He figured as long as the boss saw him there, his job was secure. With all the layoffs he couldn’t afford to lose his job so he hung out till the bitter end every day, even when he didn’t have anything to do. “Outa sight out of a job,” he would joke. That’s why Bob could not understand when his boss asked him why he always seemed to be around and recommended he attend a time management workshop.

Alice did not like to talk to people. It was so much easier to text them. She could think about things, use cool abbreviations and say whatever she wanted. This way Alice never felt awkward or stupid. There was a really cute boy in her class she wanted to meet. One day she was able to coerce her neighbor Emily into giving her the boy’s electronic address. Alice took a provocative picture of herself and sent it to the boy. The next day, when she arrived at school, she was immediately taken to the principal’s office and her phone confiscated. The boy had sent the picture to all her classmates.

Though we live in a first world country in arguably the best possible time in history, life can often be difficult. Whether it be global warming, the questionable economy, an uncertain job market or just getting through the day with “all we have to do,” our lives can quickly fill with anxiety and fear.

Some of us have healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, a spiritual program, structured personal time or hobbies, to name only a few. But for those with addictive personalities and no “program” in place, certain unhealthy behaviors (spiritual, mental, physical and emotional) begin to manifest themselves. Unfortunately the word “addict” conjures images of an unconscious wino in the gutter or a wild eyed junkie shooting up or puffing on a crack pipe in some back alley.

But addicts can also be the successful business person who has to have his two-martini lunch at the finest restaurant, or the employee who is constantly at work because she is afraid of losing her job; or even the family member who can never seem to step away from the computer or Smartphone long enough to have dinner with the family or even engage in a conversation.

Modern society has left many of us with a “hole in our soul.” It is a hole created by fear, anxiety and a sense of inadequacy. Unfortunately, for some of us, relief seems to evade us, while the fear and anxiety continue to grow.

Perhaps we try to fill the “hole” with property and possessions. Shopping becomes more than “retail therapy.” Sometimes drugs and alcohol dull the pain, the fear and the inevitable guilt. But these provide only temporary relief, followed by more fear, anxiety and shame and a renewed downward plunge toward the darkness.

The addictions are not the problem, however. They are simply the ill-advised solutions to the real problem – the “hole in the soul,” a hole which we can never fill by our own devices.

Addicts of all kinds will tell you truthfully that they want to stop, and they may be able to do so for a short time, by sheer force of will, only to subsequently return to their former way of life. Recovery is not simply about eliminating the addictive behavior, but about replacing it with something better – a healthy spiritually.

Recovery programs are successful, not because they stop the addictive behavior, but because of the spiritual program which replaces that behavior. There is a message here for all of us.

As stewards of our time, we are called to engage in spiritually-healing activities – activities which close the hole in our soul. If you don’t stand for something, if you don’t have a spiritual program, you will fall for anything and quite possibly in the form of an addiction.

Dear God: Help me to fill the holes in my life with your love.

“You've got to stand for something or you're gonna fall for anything” ~ John Cougar Mellencamp, American rock singer-songwriter, musician, painter and occasional actor (b1951)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Going and Coming

“We must not demean life by standing in awe of death.” ~David Sarnoff, Russian-born American businessman and Radio/Television Pioneer (1891-1971)

Jerry sat quietly staring out at the busy harbor. He loved to come by around noon and eat his lunch while watching the ships come and go. Today things were particularly busy. A large cruise ship was preparing to depart apparently for a trip through the Panama Canal, then on to the Caribbean. It was surrounded by people, waving goodbye from the dock.

Drinks in hand the passengers lined the railings on the side facing the dock waving back at those wishing them well. It was one big party. Music filled the air making the atmosphere even more festive. The ship’s horns blared announcing its imminent departure.

Nearby another large ship was tied up in its berth, but the scene here was quite different; a marked contrast from the hullabaloo going on nearby.  The mood was sedate, even somber. The passengers were quietly disembarking. With no one at the dock to greet them they quickly scuttled off in different directions. The crew was efficiently shutting things down and stowing gear. The cabins were quickly cleaned then locked up tight. As the crew and cabin staff completed their assigned tasks they seemed to simply disappear.

“Don’t seem right, do it?”

The voice brought Jerry suddenly out of his personal fog. “HUH?” he responded; turning to see who had spoken. Nearby, seated atop a large piling, part of the wharf, was an old man; weathered and wizened. He looked as if he had stepped out of a Hemmingway novel. Jerry swore he hadn’t been there a moment ago.

“I said, it don’t seem right, do it?” repeated the ancient mariner knocking his pipe out on the heel of his boot, then relighting it with a wooden match.

“What don’t seem right,” Jerry asked?

“Them two ships,” came the response. “All them people gathered around the one that’s get’n ready to leave and no one to greet them’s that are finally home.” “Just don’t seem right,” he concluded staring off in the distance.

The “Old Salt” had gotten Jerry’s attention. “How does it not seem right?” Jerry asked quizzically. “Well, it seems to me, that a long journey, well traveled and now completed means a whole lot more than one that hasn’t even begun yet.” “Who knows what might happen to the one get’n ready to set sail?” “It could sink just outside the breakwater or it could run aground ‘n capsize like that one a few years ago did.” “The way I see it, there’s nothin’ to celebrate…yet.”

“But the one that’s come home to port? That one is a lot like me. She may have had a hard go of it...braved storms and the like, even suffered some serious damage along the way, but she’s finished her journey. She’s come home finally and that’s worth celebrating.”

Jerry looked at the old man, then back at the two ships. The first cruise liner was slowly pulling away from the dock while second was being powered down.  The old fellow continued: “I only hope that when I dock for the last time there will be people there to bid me welcome…to congratulate me on a journey well traveled.” The old man seemed to look a place far beyond the horizon. Jerry stared in the same direction for a very long time, trying to see what this sage of the sea had seen.

Finally Jerry turned in the direction where the man had been sitting. “You know my name’s Jerry and…” but he stopped short. He starred at the piling for a moment in disbelief. The old man was gone.

We have come to think of conception as the arrival into and death as the departure from physical life. However, life itself is the journey: Birth being the departure point and death the arrival. As Christian stewards we profess that everything is a gift from a good and loving God which is to be gratefully received. Unfortunately, we typically view the death of a loved one as “our loss.” And yet, when viewed as the successful completion of a long and successful journey; a life well lived, there is gratitude to be found.

Irish Wakes are a wonderful example of this. The Wake is the period from the time of death until the body is conveyed to the church for burial. Wakes are celebrated in the home with food and plenty of alcoholic beverages. It is a time for family and friends to socialize and share remembrances of the departed person's life. It is not a time for tears, but a time to celebrate.

“A good name is better than precious ointment, and the day of death [better] than the day of birth” (Ecclesiastes 7:1). Certainly this is not the case when a life is tragically cut short. But when someone passes on in peace and with a good and honorable name, after a successful life– we should mourn, but it is also a time for rejoicing and for celebrating a life well lived.

Dear God: Remind me that you pour life into death and death into life without spilling a single drop.

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.” ~Mark Twain, American author (1835-1910)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.