“Material possessions, winning scores, and great reputations are meaningless in the eyes of the Lord, because He knows what we really are and that is all that matters.” John Wooden, retired American basketball coach b 1910)
It was the perfect location…at least that’s what Eddie had told them. Very secluded, very scenic, accessible though it wasn’t the easiest place to get to. If this did turn out to be the “perfect location” all their equipment would still need to be schlepped in and that might not be easy. Eddie had picked them up at the airport and they were on their way to the area he had recommended. All their luggage was stowed in the back since they hadn’t taken the time to check in at the hotel. Eddie was at the wheel of the SUV rocketing along the two lane black top which was quickly narrowing to a single lane and not a very good single lane either. Don and Robbie, jet lagged and cranky, glanced at each other wondering if this was another one of Eddie’s wild goose chases.
Suddenly, Eddie hit the on-demand four- wheel drive and hung a hard right onto a dirt road. They were headed straight into the jungle. The dirt gave way to grass as the vehicle began to slow. Foliage slapped at the windows. Finally, Eddie glided the SUV to a stop. The road dead ended in a large clearing surrounded by dense tropical foliage. Even the way they had come in seemed to be swallowed up in greenery. Eddie jumped out of the SUV, raised his arms over his head in a V, palms up, fingers slightly bent. He spun slowly as he made his way along the lush green carpet. “What did I tell you?” he exclaimed loudly. “This is the perfect place for the shoot.” Don and Robbie climbed out slowly and stiffly. They looked around without moving for a few moments then began walking toward Eddie who was standing at the far end of the clearing, arms still extended like a TV evangelist.
“I told you this was perfect” Eddie said, turning toward the other two and finally lowering his arms. Don and Robbie were carefully examining the location. They had been looking for a place like this to shoot several key scenes for their next movie. This place…had possibilities. “What do you say?” asked Eddie. “Perfect or what?” Don and Robbie looked at each other again. “Let’s get the hand held out and shoot some footage,” Don said finally. The compact portable camera was pulled from its case in the back of their vehicle and Robbie began shooting brief segments testing angles and lighting.
The three became so engrossed with what they were doing; they didn’t hear the sound at first. Gradually they became aware of the distinctive drone of a diesel engine approaching from the same direction they had come. By the time they all three turned to see what it was a late model stake bed truck burst into the clearing. Leaning against the truck cab to balance themselves, two grim looking men stood in the bed of the truck. Each was holding an ancient carbine at the ready. Don noticed, while the men looked like they meant business, they did not bear the stoic countenance or arrogant look of movie bad guys ala Clint Eastwood’s early films. In fact, he thought he detected a flicker of desperation in their eyes.
The truck lurched to a stop and out of the passenger’s side of the cab climbed a thirtyish man with curly black hair, a scruffy beard, dirty khaki’s and a collarless short sleeved pullover. He carried an old Army 45 Automatic in a flapped holster on which his hand now rested. “We are not here to hurt you,” he began, raising his arms, palms forward as if he were being held at gunpoint instead of them. “But we do want anything you have of value.” Eddie started toward the man, but Don put his hand on his chest to stop him. “Go ahead and take what you want,” Don said quietly.
At a signal from the leader the two men jumped down from the truck bed. One nervously kept his carbine pointed in the direction of Don and the others, while the driver, the leader and the other man rummaged through the SUV with what appeared to be relative care. The men took the camera equipment, lap tops, iPods and all three cell phones. They also took all their cash, but surprisingly let them keep their credit cards and passports.
Finally the leader, one of the lap top computers still in his hand, turned to Eddie. “Your keys… please.” Eddie hesitated, but finally relinquished the keys. The leader seemed to weigh them in his hand for a moment. “I will hang these on the wooden post by the road where you turned in.” “It’s about a kilometer from here…an easy walk.” “You need to be out of here by sunset, it’s not safe here after dark.” Don and Robbie smiled ironically (“or in daylight either”) then glowered at Eddie who was staring at the ground.
The leader headed back to the truck. At the door he paused for a moment then turned back around. “Please don’t think too badly of us,” he began. “We do not like doing this, but you can go back to America and replace all your nice things, but us…” He hoisted the lap top up next to his head. “The money we get for this will feed our families for a year.” With a nod he headed for the truck, climbed in and motioned to the driver to back up. A moment before they disappeared through the green wall of foliage he waved…and they were gone.
Eddie, Don and Robbie stood there staring at the spot where the truck had just disappeared. Robbie looked at Eddie for a moment: “The perfect spot, huh?” he quipped; rolling his eyes…then he turned and headed for the SUV.
“Need” is a relative term. I often catch myself saying things like, “I need a new lap top.” This is the alluring thing about possessions. As our wealth and comfort increases so do our “needs” or what we think of as needs. What was once a luxury, like a new lap top, we now perceive as a need? One might call this “possession abuse.” Like any type of substance abuse, as the habit grows, more and more (of the substance) is needed to quench our appetite. “Possession abuse” implies the more possessions we have, the more, bigger; better possessions are required to satiate our desire for them. And the more we have, the more we have to worry about.
If our desires can never be satiated then we are always experiencing escalating need. If we live in a constant state of escalating need how can we ever be grateful…to live life with a sense of gratitude? To satiate ourselves requires us to constantly saturate our desires even though this approach will never satisfy us…we will constantly be searching for our next fix.
Gratitude, on the other hand, is satisfying. Gratitude means being in a state of constant thankfulness. True thankfulness can be sustained without escalation. For instance, I am very thankful for the church I attend, but I wouldn’t be any more thankful if I had another one just like it or if it were bigger and/or more ornate, nor do I need to be there to experience the gratitude I feel because of it.
In a state of gratitude we are thankful for what we have no matter what we have. Some might call this a state of grace. However, when we are in a state of possession abuse we will never be thankful for what we have no matter how much we have. Not too surprisingly, gratitude is one of the “skills” which is cultivated in recovery programs (such as AA and NA). It is a skill we would all do well to nurture in ourselves.
The leader of the band of thieves made a valid observation: Eddie, Don and Robbie did return home and replaced all their stuff. Undoubtedly they saw their lap tops, cell phones, camera equipment and iPods as necessities. They even comforted themselves for there loss by buying bigger, better, nicer stuff. On the other hand, to the thieves, the lap top (and the other stuff) represented a necessity rather than a desire: a means of obtaining, food, nourishment for their families…sustenance. But regardless of how much or how little we have we must always acknowledge that everything is a gift from God for which we should be grateful. It is our thankfulness which needs to increase, not our possessions. Otherwise we are doomed to be unhappy.
Dear God, release me from the bondage of possessions that I might better do your will.
"Why grab possessions like thieves, or divide them like socialists when you can ignore them like wise men?" Natalie Clifford Barney, American playwright, poet and novelist (1876 – 1972)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Ashes
“To change and to change for the better are two different things.”
~German proverb
The 100-cup percolator was making that booolllll-lip sound which indicated it was working. Cream, sugar, stirrers and cups were in position and ready for post Mass Hospitality. It was 6:00 AM and the early birds had started to arrive even though it was still dark out. It was Ash Wednesday. There was a Mass at 6:30; the first of seven Masses or services which would occur that day. I recognized the regulars filing in with their rosaries and worn copies of the Magnificat. They carefully made their way to their usual seats and began their pre Mass rituals.
There was also a very different, unfamiliar group arriving. People I didn’t recognize. They looked awkward, hesitant, unsure of themselves as if it were the first time they had ever been in a sanctuary. They had difficulty choosing seats and tried to mimic the preparatory movements of others. Some were fashionable dressed for work; others looked as if they had just crawled out of bed having slept in their clothes. These were not the CEO Catholics (Christmas and Easter only). These were Ashes and Palms Catholics who seemed to gravitate to the period of purgation between Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday. And so they had come to receive a cross of ashes on their foreheads proclaiming to the world they had come from dust and they would return to it as well.
I wondered how many of them knew they were entering the desert for 40 days of preparation, just as Jesus had spent 40 days there before beginning His brief ministry. Then I realized some were there because they were already in the desert. Perhaps this stubborn financial crisis had dumped them unwillingly into the wasteland; that they were experiencing a kind of prolonged financial Lent. I thought of Dorothy Day who was fond of telling people she was attracted to Catholicism because the rich knelt down with the poor side by side.
Mass ended. People filed out now marked with ashes; some rushing to their cars, some lingering for coffee, others loitering about, wondering what they should do next. How many were entering their Lenten desert and how many were returning to it? And so Lent began officially.
Our Lenten journey takes us to a desolate, solitary place. It is understandable why some Catholics return to the Church for the celebratory high holy days like Christmas and Easter, but what draws a very different group to this period of seeming deprivation and darkness we call Lent?
Over the years it has been traditional to give something up for Lent like ice cream, smoking, or alcohol. Some parishes have tried to ritualize the process of “giving something up for Lent” by suggesting the value of the items, from which we abstain, be remitted to the church or a worthy cause in the form of a donation. I know one family who has a “Cuss Box”. Every time someone uses profanity during Lent they have to pay a $1.00 fine to the Cuss Box. Suffice it to say, they make a sizable donation to their Church every Easter.
Unfortunately, simply abstaining from something during Lent has no long term benefit…while it may be symbolic; it is not likely to bring about a lasting reformation. When we deprive ourselves of a particular source of satisfaction it tends to focus us on that source. We focus on the deprivation we are experiencing rather than on the intent of the deprivation. Abstinence may make the heart grow fonder. And there is a certain consolation in knowing the deprivation won’t last for long. It is similar to going on a diet (so we look good for our class reunion) versus adopting a healthy lifestyle (so we can make it to our 50th class reunion).
As Stewards we can become myopic, focusing on what we need to give (our time, talent and treasure) to the exclusion of what we need to give up…the things we don’t need. If we were to plan a 40 day excursion into the desert (and not in a motor home) we would keenly focus on what we actually needed…the necessities of life…those things which sustain us physically (and spiritually). Unfortunately, on Ash Wednesday, the reality for most of us is we find ourselves approaching the desert with all our stuff, necessary or otherwise, still weighing us down.
Lent is a time for us to shed our baggage; and in turn, focus on what is really important. This baggage may be property, power or prestige, but it might also be grief, guilt, old hurts, resentments or pain. Lent represents an opportunity to let go of the past, stop fearing the future and to focus on the present. It is a time to perform a spring cleaning of our souls; a time to rid ourselves of the unnecessary. And herein lies the second, and perhaps more important benefit: by doing so we are making room for the necessary. There is a famous story about a man who asked the Dali Lama to teach him. The wise old sage filled the man’s tea cup to overflowing, and then told him he was like the tea cup. He was “too full”. Nothing else could go into his cup.
Lent is when we need to empty our cups: eliminating the unnecessary to make sure we have room for the necessary. Our brothers and sisters who come for ashes and palms are examples to all of us. When we go searching for answers, for meaning, for life; if we are to find what we need, we must get rid of what we don’t first.
A Lenten Reflection
Dear Lord help me to:
Give up complaining——focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism——become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments——think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry——trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement——be full of hope.
Give up bitterness——turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred——return good for evil.
Give up negativism——be positive.
Give up anger——be more patient.
Give up pettiness——become mature.
Give up gloom——enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy——pray for trust.
Give up gossiping——control your tongue.
Give up sin——turn to virtue.
During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask, one way or another, what it means to be themselves...to answer questions like this is to begin to hear something not only of who you are but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become.
~(Carl) Frederick Buechner, American writer and theologian (b. 1926)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. Questions or comments may be directed to Jim Carper by return e-mail or at the contact information found below.
~German proverb
The 100-cup percolator was making that booolllll-lip sound which indicated it was working. Cream, sugar, stirrers and cups were in position and ready for post Mass Hospitality. It was 6:00 AM and the early birds had started to arrive even though it was still dark out. It was Ash Wednesday. There was a Mass at 6:30; the first of seven Masses or services which would occur that day. I recognized the regulars filing in with their rosaries and worn copies of the Magnificat. They carefully made their way to their usual seats and began their pre Mass rituals.
There was also a very different, unfamiliar group arriving. People I didn’t recognize. They looked awkward, hesitant, unsure of themselves as if it were the first time they had ever been in a sanctuary. They had difficulty choosing seats and tried to mimic the preparatory movements of others. Some were fashionable dressed for work; others looked as if they had just crawled out of bed having slept in their clothes. These were not the CEO Catholics (Christmas and Easter only). These were Ashes and Palms Catholics who seemed to gravitate to the period of purgation between Ash Wednesday and Palm Sunday. And so they had come to receive a cross of ashes on their foreheads proclaiming to the world they had come from dust and they would return to it as well.
I wondered how many of them knew they were entering the desert for 40 days of preparation, just as Jesus had spent 40 days there before beginning His brief ministry. Then I realized some were there because they were already in the desert. Perhaps this stubborn financial crisis had dumped them unwillingly into the wasteland; that they were experiencing a kind of prolonged financial Lent. I thought of Dorothy Day who was fond of telling people she was attracted to Catholicism because the rich knelt down with the poor side by side.
Mass ended. People filed out now marked with ashes; some rushing to their cars, some lingering for coffee, others loitering about, wondering what they should do next. How many were entering their Lenten desert and how many were returning to it? And so Lent began officially.
Our Lenten journey takes us to a desolate, solitary place. It is understandable why some Catholics return to the Church for the celebratory high holy days like Christmas and Easter, but what draws a very different group to this period of seeming deprivation and darkness we call Lent?
Over the years it has been traditional to give something up for Lent like ice cream, smoking, or alcohol. Some parishes have tried to ritualize the process of “giving something up for Lent” by suggesting the value of the items, from which we abstain, be remitted to the church or a worthy cause in the form of a donation. I know one family who has a “Cuss Box”. Every time someone uses profanity during Lent they have to pay a $1.00 fine to the Cuss Box. Suffice it to say, they make a sizable donation to their Church every Easter.
Unfortunately, simply abstaining from something during Lent has no long term benefit…while it may be symbolic; it is not likely to bring about a lasting reformation. When we deprive ourselves of a particular source of satisfaction it tends to focus us on that source. We focus on the deprivation we are experiencing rather than on the intent of the deprivation. Abstinence may make the heart grow fonder. And there is a certain consolation in knowing the deprivation won’t last for long. It is similar to going on a diet (so we look good for our class reunion) versus adopting a healthy lifestyle (so we can make it to our 50th class reunion).
As Stewards we can become myopic, focusing on what we need to give (our time, talent and treasure) to the exclusion of what we need to give up…the things we don’t need. If we were to plan a 40 day excursion into the desert (and not in a motor home) we would keenly focus on what we actually needed…the necessities of life…those things which sustain us physically (and spiritually). Unfortunately, on Ash Wednesday, the reality for most of us is we find ourselves approaching the desert with all our stuff, necessary or otherwise, still weighing us down.
Lent is a time for us to shed our baggage; and in turn, focus on what is really important. This baggage may be property, power or prestige, but it might also be grief, guilt, old hurts, resentments or pain. Lent represents an opportunity to let go of the past, stop fearing the future and to focus on the present. It is a time to perform a spring cleaning of our souls; a time to rid ourselves of the unnecessary. And herein lies the second, and perhaps more important benefit: by doing so we are making room for the necessary. There is a famous story about a man who asked the Dali Lama to teach him. The wise old sage filled the man’s tea cup to overflowing, and then told him he was like the tea cup. He was “too full”. Nothing else could go into his cup.
Lent is when we need to empty our cups: eliminating the unnecessary to make sure we have room for the necessary. Our brothers and sisters who come for ashes and palms are examples to all of us. When we go searching for answers, for meaning, for life; if we are to find what we need, we must get rid of what we don’t first.
A Lenten Reflection
Dear Lord help me to:
Give up complaining——focus on gratitude.
Give up pessimism——become an optimist.
Give up harsh judgments——think kindly thoughts.
Give up worry——trust Divine Providence.
Give up discouragement——be full of hope.
Give up bitterness——turn to forgiveness.
Give up hatred——return good for evil.
Give up negativism——be positive.
Give up anger——be more patient.
Give up pettiness——become mature.
Give up gloom——enjoy the beauty that is all around you.
Give up jealousy——pray for trust.
Give up gossiping——control your tongue.
Give up sin——turn to virtue.
During Lent, Christians are supposed to ask, one way or another, what it means to be themselves...to answer questions like this is to begin to hear something not only of who you are but of both what you are becoming and what you are failing to become.
~(Carl) Frederick Buechner, American writer and theologian (b. 1926)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. Questions or comments may be directed to Jim Carper by return e-mail or at the contact information found below.
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Successful Love
“I firmly believe that our salvation depends on the poor.”~ Dorothy Day, American journalist, social activist, distributist, and devout Catholic convert (1897-1980)
Anne sat at the lunch room table caressing her cup of coffee. She usually spent her breaks at her desk, working, drinking from the thermos of coffee she brought from home. But today she had caught a break and was happily sitting with a few of her coworkers enjoying a cup of fresh, hot coffee. Their entertaining banter had flitted from subject to subject covering everything from the president’s health care initiative to the latest celebrity’s public faux paux. A brief silence had fallen over the table and Anne was enjoying just sitting there quietly…breathing in calm and exhaling stress.
“How’s that Deacon thing going,” Margie asked suddenly. “It’s really remarkable,” Anne replied. “Is it just classroom studies,” inquired Rajit. “No, we do projects too.” “In fact, we served dinner at a homeless shelter the day after Christmas,” Anne replied, and proceeded to recount the details of her experience.
“Homeless people?” Estelle interjected suddenly. “I keep my distance from those people.” “There all just a bunch of crazies and drug addicts.” “If they ask me for money on the street, I just walk on by.” “They’re just going to use it for drugs or alcohol anyway.” The rest of the people at the table nodded agreement, sharing similar sentiments. Some recounted stories of encounters with the homeless and the clever ruses they had used to escape them. Anne sat quietly staring at her coffee cup. Suddenly, coffee break wasn’t so enjoyable.
“Well, you’re a better person than I am,” sighed Estelle, getting up to leave. “Just be careful out there, Honey.” Shortly thereafter Anne excused herself also and headed back to her desk, wondering what had just happened. Right now, breaks at her desk were looking better and better.
In fairness to Anne’s coworkers, mental illness and substance abuse have often been identified as the most common causes of homelessness. But recent statistics indicate there are other growing issues contributing to homelessness in America. Lack of affordable housing, no health insurance coverage, unemployment, low paying jobs, domestic violence, loss of public assistance programs, and Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are also significant factors which have lead to the marked rise in homelessness. In addition, there are more senior citizens and families with children being displaced from there homes by the current financial crisis. In short, “Homelessness stems from desperate poverty combined with unaffordable housing in communities too strapped to support their most troubled members” writes Martha Burt, PhD.
One need not be a Christian Steward, Biblical scholar nor even much of a Bible reader to know we will all be judged based upon how we treat those in need: the poor, the orphans, the widows, and, oh yes, the homeless, crazy or otherwise. In the Beatitudes, Jesus teaches us, not simply to help the poor, but to give them preferential treatment. Our salvation depends upon it. Unfortunately, we get caught up in managing the results rather than committing ourselves to acts of love and mercy. We worry about doing things right, rather than doing right things. Our good works become tainted by a need to make them successful rather than committing acts of charity and mercy out of love. Mother Teresa was fond of telling the members of her order that “God did not call us to be successful; He called us to be faithful”.
When we do right things in the hopes our acts will garnish our desired results, we engage in a kind of indirect egotism. This is most evident when we are merciful, just and kind in the hopes that others will in turn treat us mercifully, justly and kindly. It probably comes as a surprise to most of us that helping others is not a results oriented activity. There was no more merciful, kind and just person than Jesus Christ. Yet, though he loved all people like no one before, or since, his earthly end came on an instrument of Roman torture, abandoned by all but a few, a target of ridicule and derision. In the vernacular: this is not what we would call “a good result.”
Sharing our gifts with others should not come with a contingency clause. It is not part of our responsibility to judge if the gifts we have given have been used appropriately, let alone that they might not be used appropriately. Hopefully we would not withhold a bridal gift because, God forbid, the couple might get divorced or not use it for the purpose for which it was intended. That being the case, why would we withhold help, to those in need, for the same reason…because they might not use our gift as we intended. We must learn to love without expectation. “The success of love is in the loving.”
Dear Lord: Help me to love without expectation.
“The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.” ~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
You are welcomed and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. Questions or comments may be directed to Jim Carper by return e-mail.
Anne sat at the lunch room table caressing her cup of coffee. She usually spent her breaks at her desk, working, drinking from the thermos of coffee she brought from home. But today she had caught a break and was happily sitting with a few of her coworkers enjoying a cup of fresh, hot coffee. Their entertaining banter had flitted from subject to subject covering everything from the president’s health care initiative to the latest celebrity’s public faux paux. A brief silence had fallen over the table and Anne was enjoying just sitting there quietly…breathing in calm and exhaling stress.
“How’s that Deacon thing going,” Margie asked suddenly. “It’s really remarkable,” Anne replied. “Is it just classroom studies,” inquired Rajit. “No, we do projects too.” “In fact, we served dinner at a homeless shelter the day after Christmas,” Anne replied, and proceeded to recount the details of her experience.
“Homeless people?” Estelle interjected suddenly. “I keep my distance from those people.” “There all just a bunch of crazies and drug addicts.” “If they ask me for money on the street, I just walk on by.” “They’re just going to use it for drugs or alcohol anyway.” The rest of the people at the table nodded agreement, sharing similar sentiments. Some recounted stories of encounters with the homeless and the clever ruses they had used to escape them. Anne sat quietly staring at her coffee cup. Suddenly, coffee break wasn’t so enjoyable.
“Well, you’re a better person than I am,” sighed Estelle, getting up to leave. “Just be careful out there, Honey.” Shortly thereafter Anne excused herself also and headed back to her desk, wondering what had just happened. Right now, breaks at her desk were looking better and better.
In fairness to Anne’s coworkers, mental illness and substance abuse have often been identified as the most common causes of homelessness. But recent statistics indicate there are other growing issues contributing to homelessness in America. Lack of affordable housing, no health insurance coverage, unemployment, low paying jobs, domestic violence, loss of public assistance programs, and Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) are also significant factors which have lead to the marked rise in homelessness. In addition, there are more senior citizens and families with children being displaced from there homes by the current financial crisis. In short, “Homelessness stems from desperate poverty combined with unaffordable housing in communities too strapped to support their most troubled members” writes Martha Burt, PhD.
One need not be a Christian Steward, Biblical scholar nor even much of a Bible reader to know we will all be judged based upon how we treat those in need: the poor, the orphans, the widows, and, oh yes, the homeless, crazy or otherwise. In the Beatitudes, Jesus teaches us, not simply to help the poor, but to give them preferential treatment. Our salvation depends upon it. Unfortunately, we get caught up in managing the results rather than committing ourselves to acts of love and mercy. We worry about doing things right, rather than doing right things. Our good works become tainted by a need to make them successful rather than committing acts of charity and mercy out of love. Mother Teresa was fond of telling the members of her order that “God did not call us to be successful; He called us to be faithful”.
When we do right things in the hopes our acts will garnish our desired results, we engage in a kind of indirect egotism. This is most evident when we are merciful, just and kind in the hopes that others will in turn treat us mercifully, justly and kindly. It probably comes as a surprise to most of us that helping others is not a results oriented activity. There was no more merciful, kind and just person than Jesus Christ. Yet, though he loved all people like no one before, or since, his earthly end came on an instrument of Roman torture, abandoned by all but a few, a target of ridicule and derision. In the vernacular: this is not what we would call “a good result.”
Sharing our gifts with others should not come with a contingency clause. It is not part of our responsibility to judge if the gifts we have given have been used appropriately, let alone that they might not be used appropriately. Hopefully we would not withhold a bridal gift because, God forbid, the couple might get divorced or not use it for the purpose for which it was intended. That being the case, why would we withhold help, to those in need, for the same reason…because they might not use our gift as we intended. We must learn to love without expectation. “The success of love is in the loving.”
Dear Lord: Help me to love without expectation.
“The success of love is in the loving - it is not in the result of loving. Of course it is natural in love to want the best for the other person, but whether it turns out that way or not does not determine the value of what we have done.” ~ Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
You are welcomed and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. Questions or comments may be directed to Jim Carper by return e-mail.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Trivial Pursuits
“It is by studying little things that we attain the great art of having as little misery and as much happiness as possible.” ~Samuel Johnson, LLD, MA; English poet, essayist, moralist, literary critic, biographer, editor and lexicographer (1709-1784)
I left clicked the mouse with a flourish propelling the brief email, with its extensive spreadsheet attached, into cyberspace. The creation of this massive grid of numbers, formulas and headings had been a long, arduous process full of fits and starts. An hour of work had been required just to get it to balance, but it was done and on its way. Coffee! I thought. I deserve a cup of coffee and not that charred swill in the community pot. Oh no. I deserved to treat myself. There was a gourmet coffee emporium just around the corner, two and a half blocks from the parish center. Extracting it from my hip pocket I flipped open my wallet like Captain Kirk’s communicator and began rummaging through the cash sleeve…nothing but receipts. Then my eye fell on the gift card carefully filed in the slots with the rest of the ID and credit cards. Awesome!
Rising from my desk I slipped the coffee emporium gift card from my wallet, stuffed it in my breast pocket and headed out the door of my office. Down the hall I went, out the side door, down two steps and onto the sidewalk, a quick right and I was heading south toward the main drag of Santa Monica…Wilshire Boulevard. I negotiated the four-way stop-signed intersection, without becoming an insurance statistic, and continued on my way, already trying to decide whether it would be a small, medium or large.
As I hurried along, engrossed in thought, I passed a homeless person seated against a tree near the sidewalk. He raised his hand half heartedly. “Hey buddy,” he muttered as if he really didn’t expect I would stop, and I didn’t. My momentum carried me by him without as much as a return greeting. Then I heard his voice again. It was a voice so bereft of hope it sounded hollow, vacant…”Have a nice day.” His wish for me, to “have a nice day”, halted me, as surely as if he had caught me by the coat tails. I stood there in a moment of confusion, not knowing whether to retrace my steps or to keep on going. Reluctantly, I finally turned to face the man who, in his need, had interrupted my well laid plans for me. “Hi,” I said without enthusiasm, raising my right palm in a half hearted, sort-of-a wave.
His eyes were red and watery and his face burned from the sun. He squinted when he looked up at me. “What can I do for you?” I asked, without intending to do anything for him. The man simply stared at me. After an awkward moment it finally dawned on me. He was more surprised that I had turned around and come back than I was. After being constantly ignored he was not sure what to do when someone actually stopped and addressed him.
“Is there some reason you stopped me?” I asked, a little more kindly this time. The man struggled to his feet as if it were a sign of respect. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday,” he began, staring at the ground. “Do you think you could spare a couple a bucks so I could get sumthin' to eat?” “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash with me today,” I responded wondering how many times he had heard that line before. Unfortunately, I didn’t.
Not sure what to do next he began examining his hands. “That’s OK mister” he said finally. “You go on; I know you must be busy.” I saw the opening and took it. “You have a nice day too,” already turning away as I spoke. Headed south and back on task I instinctively patted the pocket where the gift card had been tucked away for safe keeping. Again, I stopped. I didn’t have money, but I had something just as negotiable. Whether it was the thought of walking back with my fresh cup of coffee, right past the guy who I had just told I had no money. Or whether it was the residual guilt I felt from the first time he stopped me. Or whether it was just a moment of clarity when I could hear God’s voice amongst the cacophony which is my life, I will never know…and it didn’t really matter anyway.
When I turned back the man was once again seated against the tree. Still staring at the ground, he seemed worn out, as if our brief encounter had exhausted him. “Excuse me,” I said quietly, afraid I would startle him. He looked up at me with his red, watery eyes, but he didn’t speak. “I was mistaken”, I continued. “I don’t have any cash, but I do have this gift card for that coffee place around the corner…could you use it?” “They got things to eat there like rolls or something?” he asked tentatively. “Absolutely,” I said, smiling for the first time. I offered the card to him and he took it carefully. “Thanks Mister,” he mumbled, “and God bless you.” This came out almost as an afterthought. “I’m sure he will” I mused. And with that I headed back toward the parish center. When I reached the side door, I opened it, then turned and took a last look toward Wilshire. The man had gathered up all his earthly belongings and was hobbling down the street in the direction of the coffee emporium. Smiling to myself, I headed in the door…intent on making myself a fresh pot of coffee.
It is the not elephants that get us, it’s the ants. The big issues in life can usually be faced with come degree of heroism because we recognize them as being important to our continued well being. Where we fail is amongst the little things. We are unable to be brave when confronted by the everyday or as Michael Casey writes, “Far more difficult is unremitting heroism when faced with the humdrum trivialities of everyday existence.” This is where our values trip us up. We think what is important to us is important to all or conversely: what is of little importance to us is likewise inconsequential to others. We can face down our elephants, while our ants are eating us alive.
I humbly admit I am a preacher who needs a lot of practice in this regard.
As stewards this is one of the difficulties we experience, when encountering others in need. We look first at what is important, or of consequence, to us, and then maybe, just maybe, we look at what is important to others. Suppose for a moment three people spent $600.00. One purchased a pair of woman’s leather boots; one purchased a bottle of fine wine and the third a top-of-the-line hand gun. As you read the previous sentence you undoubtedly made judgments about each of the three people and perhaps even considered what you would buy. Like wise, your decision would be based solely upon what is of value to you: perhaps tickets to an event or a new piece of technology.
But what if, instead of $600.00, the amount was only $5.00, like a gift card? If the items listed were items on which people spent $5.00, we would quickly lose interest. $5.00 items are of little consequence to us. Unfortunately, it is those areas where we see things as inconsequential (where the ants reside) that our actions really count.
Case in point, to me the gift card I possessed meant “a cup of coffee” nothing more than a special treat. To the man who received it however, it not only meant the first meal he would eat in nearly two days, but it also meant that he had been treated like a human being, with respect, dignity; that he was more than a faceless lump of flesh leaning against a tree…or worse…nonexistent, a non entity, a blank. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but so is mercy. Viewing the world from this perspective trumps the objection: “There’s nothing I can do.” And we subconsciously complete the sentence “...so I won’t”.
This idea of seeing the value to others, rather than ourselves translates to all parts of our lives. Perhaps, rather than buying a child a car for their 16th birthday, it might be of more value to them to occasionally take our children out, alone, for a hamburger, and spend an hour really listening to what they have to say…to hear what’s important to them and what creates concern in their lives.
Most of us can rise to the occasion when we know something is really serious. Real bravery, however, comes when we are called upon to confront the trivialities in life…those things which don’t seem all that important, but have value beyond measure to others.
Dear God: Help me to be fearless in the face of trivialities.
“We can not do great things. We can only do little things with great love.” ~Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997)
In Memoriam: Dedicated to the memory of George Newburn ~ a friend to all he met and one of the great advocates of Stewardship. You will be greatly missed.
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
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