"Friendship is a knot tied by angels' hands,” Source: Anonymous
They were all gone…finally. It had been a long and exhausting week, but now it was over. Ralph’s unexpected death almost two weeks earlier now seemed like a dream. Joan had been married to him for 37 years, but two weeks ago, without indication or warning, the aneurysm had taken him. One moment he was joking with her about her new dress and the next he was gone. Since then life had whirled around her in confusion. Preparations, decisions all needed to be made at a time when she was least equipped to make them. As if that wasn’t enough, her house had gradually filled with family and friends…some just dropping by with condolences and food. Still others staying there as house guests. Sometimes she had to tolerate their vain attempts to be sympathetic. Lines like, “I know how you must feel,” or “It must have been God’s will,” or “God never gives us more than we can handle”, made here twitch.
Fortunately, it was now over. The funeral had been the day before and the last house guest had left that morning having beggared a ride to the airport from her. Finally, after two weeks, Joan was now completely alone. The house, which had always seemed too small, now seemed much too big, empty and quiet. She popped her favorite CD (Carole King’s “Tapestry”) into the player and immediately Joan began to feel the earth move under her feet as Carole “pounded the ivories”. She headed for the kitchen to make a small pot of green tea. When she returned she sat in her favorite winged back chair and closed her eyes for a moment, embracing the mug of tea with her hands. It was at that moment the strains of “You’re So Far Away” began to play. The tears leaked out from beneath her closed eyelids and her nose began to redden. Joan did nothing to staunch the flow.
After the song ended she rose to retrieve a tissue from the box on the coffee table setting her mug next to it. As Joan dabbed her eyes and blew her nose she absent mindedly glanced out the front window. To her surprise there was a car parked in front of her house…a familiar car no less. Squinting into the darkness she could make out someone sitting in the car. A moment of panic rippled through her, but as she continued to stare she realized the figure in the car was also familiar. Then, in a flash, it came to her. The car, the figure, everything… It was her best friend Marilyn. They had been friends since high school, but what was she doing here and how long had she been outside and why hadn’t she knocked and come in? Joan quickly shrugged on her coat and headed out the door.
When she got close to the car she noticed a small light was on inside. It appeared Marilyn was reading a book of all things…her cell phone carefully perched on the dash board in front of her. Joan approached from the front of the car so as not to startle her friend, but Marilyn still jumped slightly when Joan tapped on the window. The electric window glided down smoothly.
“Hi,” Marilyn said simply. “What are you doing here?” asked Joan. Marilyn carefully climbed out of the car and shut the door. “Well,” Marilyn began. “I didn’t want to bother you, right now because I knew you needed your space, but I wanted to be close by in case you needed me.” “If you did need me, I figured you’d call me on my cell and I would be here…kinda stupid huh?” she finished sheepishly. The tears started to well up in Joan’s eyes again. “No, not stupid at all,” she replied impulsively, hugging Marilyn. “I have some green tea in the brew pot. Do you want to come in for a few minutes?” “Sure,” replied Marilyn. “You probably have ‘Tapestry’ on don’t you?” “Yes”, smiled Joan, “But my best friend wasn’t so far away after all.” Arms around each others’ shoulders they headed back to the house, its welcoming lights and the strains of “You’ve Got a Friend.”
Most of us practice our faith in God rather than being stewards of our relationship with God. God is not simply the object of our faith, a name to be recited in our prayers, something in which we profess our belief or the centerpiece of an intricate and elaborate theology. He is what Marcus Borg described as an “experiential reality.” The Apostle Paul went so far as to say He is “the one in whom we live and move and have our being.”
Unfortunately most of us are like our sister Joan…sitting in a darkened, empty house…exhausted by the weight of the world and our dealings with the people in it. Mentally and emotionally spent by what are often meaningless or superficial personal interactions. Sometimes our families and friends inflict more harm on us than our enemies because we feel a sense of obligation to permit them their attempts to help us, regardless of the pain and damage they cause, however well intended.
In the meantime God, like Marilyn, sits patiently by, waiting for our call…our recognition of His presence. He gives us full freedom to be who we are and do what we want. He doesn’t bother us, or even hinder us, but he is always close by, just in case we need Him.
But good friends are not simply people who are there just when we need them. We want to spend time with them. Their presence is comforting and we enjoy being around them. Like the good friend that He is God invites us to enter into a relationship with Him. He is not simply to be tucked away only for emergencies; stored behind breakable glass, like a fire extinguisher, in case disaster strikes. Rather, we need to invite God into our lonely houses and stressful places of employment…arm and shoulder he walks with us every day…every place. No matter what…you’ve got a friend.
Dear God: Remind me first and foremost you are my friend.
You’ve Got a Friend by Carole King
When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.
(Refrain) You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
(Refrain)
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.
(Refrain)
You've got a friend.
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Cry of the Poor
"If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich." ~ John F. Kennedy, 35th President of the United States (1917-1963)
Maria waited outside the principal’s office knotting her calloused hands. She knew she would have to tell her the truth, but what would happen then. She had worked so hard to get this far, but now what? Would it all fall apart? She didn’t mind making the tamales, but it was hard work and took a lot of time. Not to mention, it was dangerous being out on the street alone, with money in your pockets. Actually, it was dangerous being out on the street alone period. The door opened and the Principal, Ms. Murphy, came out and greeted her with a big smile. In the Principal’s office Maria nervously explained that she had been lucky enough to find a job working in the garment industry downtown. It paid much better than selling tamales out of her shopping cart and was safer also. She would be making nearly $1,000 a month, but she was afraid her daughter would lose her tuition subsidy as a result...
*************************************************************
The chemo made Esperanza sick to her stomach. She thought after being treated for so long she would be use to it by now. Esperanza was diagnosed with brain cancer when her youngest daughter was born and Marialena was now almost nine. Even with all the treatment the brain cancer had gradually progressed to stage four, without much hope of remission. Esperanza was still able to work five days a week and endure her chemo treatments on Friday, but sometimes, when finances were tight, she would skip treatments and use her copayment money to make ends meet. After all, the treatments didn’t seem to be working anyway. It wasn’t dying which frightened her so much as what would happen to her two daughters when she was gone...
*************************************************************
Stories like these, from a recent annual appeal, make us reach for our wallets and check books. Our heartstrings resonate with sympathy and perhaps pity. We feel guilty for the plight of others and, like the story of the Pharisee praying in the temple, we thank God that we are not like those people. When, in point of fact, “those people” are more like the rest of the world than we are. If you don’t live in the western portion of the northern hemisphere you are probably poor…really poor. Access to clean drinking water, something we accept as a given, is unavailable to the majority of the world’s population. Surprisingly most of us are amongst the 1% of the wealthiest people in the world.
This would seem to suggest we should rise from our comfortable places in life and do something about this abject poverty, perhaps by writing more checks or starting more foundations, food banks and subsidy programs. After all Jesus told us we would be judged by the way in which we treated the poor, the widows, the orphans. But he also seems to imply our efforts will be futile: “the poor will always be with you,” he quips (John12:8). So what’s the use and where’s the point? If we can’t fix the problem why try? If we can’t feel satisfied with ourselves or stop feeling guilty what are we working for?
From a stewardship point of view however, I would suggest the poor are actually a gift to us; a gift to be gratefully received and returned to God with increase. God loved us into existence; we are a product of His joy. Love is wanting the best for another and acting upon it. On the other hand guilt is not one of His creations and so, being motivated by guilt, is not part of His plan. Nor are we called to a self satisfaction since we were lucky enough to have “dodged that bullet” and live in relative comfort. The poor are a gift because they remind us of whom we are and why we were put here in the first place. They provide us with the opportunity to live full and meaningful lives.
Serving the poor, not just making donations to their cause, brings perspective to our lives. Our comforts and possessions can anesthetize us into complacency, so much so, that if and when real tragedy strikes we are helpless to respond. By serving the poor, however, we realize those things we consider wants and needs are in fact luxuries to the point of being unnecessary. Because the poor don’t have possessions to insulate them we find a kind of raw reality within their lives. The poor pull us out of our privileged, possession insulated, power-pursuing lives and remind us that, stripped to the bear necessities, we are just like them.
This is not however, about guilt or grandeur. Serving the poor is not about guilt avoidance, sympathetic satisfaction, or looking good because others have it bad. We can give to the poor out of guilt rather than gratitude. We can give to the poor to feed our egos and our image. But when we truly serve the poor we do so out of the realization that we have earned nothing on our own in this world and everything is a gift from God. This is where our joy resides…by being truly present and fully committed to the world rather than ourselves.
Being stewards of the poor and impoverished is not about being thankful because we are fortunate enough to not be like them. It means being grateful because we are exactly like them…creations of a loving God.
Dear God: Help me to hear the cry of the poor…and come running!
"You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help." ~ Jean Kerr, American author and playwright (1922-2003)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Maria waited outside the principal’s office knotting her calloused hands. She knew she would have to tell her the truth, but what would happen then. She had worked so hard to get this far, but now what? Would it all fall apart? She didn’t mind making the tamales, but it was hard work and took a lot of time. Not to mention, it was dangerous being out on the street alone, with money in your pockets. Actually, it was dangerous being out on the street alone period. The door opened and the Principal, Ms. Murphy, came out and greeted her with a big smile. In the Principal’s office Maria nervously explained that she had been lucky enough to find a job working in the garment industry downtown. It paid much better than selling tamales out of her shopping cart and was safer also. She would be making nearly $1,000 a month, but she was afraid her daughter would lose her tuition subsidy as a result...
*************************************************************
The chemo made Esperanza sick to her stomach. She thought after being treated for so long she would be use to it by now. Esperanza was diagnosed with brain cancer when her youngest daughter was born and Marialena was now almost nine. Even with all the treatment the brain cancer had gradually progressed to stage four, without much hope of remission. Esperanza was still able to work five days a week and endure her chemo treatments on Friday, but sometimes, when finances were tight, she would skip treatments and use her copayment money to make ends meet. After all, the treatments didn’t seem to be working anyway. It wasn’t dying which frightened her so much as what would happen to her two daughters when she was gone...
*************************************************************
Stories like these, from a recent annual appeal, make us reach for our wallets and check books. Our heartstrings resonate with sympathy and perhaps pity. We feel guilty for the plight of others and, like the story of the Pharisee praying in the temple, we thank God that we are not like those people. When, in point of fact, “those people” are more like the rest of the world than we are. If you don’t live in the western portion of the northern hemisphere you are probably poor…really poor. Access to clean drinking water, something we accept as a given, is unavailable to the majority of the world’s population. Surprisingly most of us are amongst the 1% of the wealthiest people in the world.
This would seem to suggest we should rise from our comfortable places in life and do something about this abject poverty, perhaps by writing more checks or starting more foundations, food banks and subsidy programs. After all Jesus told us we would be judged by the way in which we treated the poor, the widows, the orphans. But he also seems to imply our efforts will be futile: “the poor will always be with you,” he quips (John12:8). So what’s the use and where’s the point? If we can’t fix the problem why try? If we can’t feel satisfied with ourselves or stop feeling guilty what are we working for?
From a stewardship point of view however, I would suggest the poor are actually a gift to us; a gift to be gratefully received and returned to God with increase. God loved us into existence; we are a product of His joy. Love is wanting the best for another and acting upon it. On the other hand guilt is not one of His creations and so, being motivated by guilt, is not part of His plan. Nor are we called to a self satisfaction since we were lucky enough to have “dodged that bullet” and live in relative comfort. The poor are a gift because they remind us of whom we are and why we were put here in the first place. They provide us with the opportunity to live full and meaningful lives.
Serving the poor, not just making donations to their cause, brings perspective to our lives. Our comforts and possessions can anesthetize us into complacency, so much so, that if and when real tragedy strikes we are helpless to respond. By serving the poor, however, we realize those things we consider wants and needs are in fact luxuries to the point of being unnecessary. Because the poor don’t have possessions to insulate them we find a kind of raw reality within their lives. The poor pull us out of our privileged, possession insulated, power-pursuing lives and remind us that, stripped to the bear necessities, we are just like them.
This is not however, about guilt or grandeur. Serving the poor is not about guilt avoidance, sympathetic satisfaction, or looking good because others have it bad. We can give to the poor out of guilt rather than gratitude. We can give to the poor to feed our egos and our image. But when we truly serve the poor we do so out of the realization that we have earned nothing on our own in this world and everything is a gift from God. This is where our joy resides…by being truly present and fully committed to the world rather than ourselves.
Being stewards of the poor and impoverished is not about being thankful because we are fortunate enough to not be like them. It means being grateful because we are exactly like them…creations of a loving God.
Dear God: Help me to hear the cry of the poor…and come running!
"You don't seem to realize that a poor person who is unhappy is in a better position than a rich person who is unhappy. Because the poor person has hope. He thinks money would help." ~ Jean Kerr, American author and playwright (1922-2003)
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Climb Like a Duck?
“The greatest weakness of all is the great fear of appearing weak.” ~Bishop Jacques Benigne Bossuel, French bishop and theologian (1627-1704)
“Once upon a time the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a “new world” so they organized a school. They had adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the subjects.
The duck was excellent in swimming. In fact, better than his instructor. But he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school so nobody worried about that, except the duck.
The rabbit started at the top of the class in running but had a nervous breakdown because of so much makeup work in swimming.
The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. He also developed a “charlie horse” from overexertion and then got a C in climbing and a D in running.
The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class, he beat all the others to the top of the tree but insisted on using his own way to get there.
At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceeding well and also run, climb and fly a little had the highest average and was valedictorian.
The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their children to a badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful private school.” ~*The Animal School: A Fable by George Reavis
When God created us in our mother’s womb He made us a unique individual unlike any other. He blessed us with certain gifts and not with others. God loved us into being, putting us here with a purpose and the necessary time, talent and treasure to achieve that purpose. Yet, almost from birth, we start receiving a different message. Personal achievement becomes the goal.
What we perceive as weaknesses (or the gifts we didn’t receive, because we didn’t need them to achieve God’s purpose) become things to be addressed, shored up, improved upon or hidden. As we grow family, friends, teachers, coaches, etc. impose their own expectations upon us. Stereotypes are applied (cultural, sexual, et cetera) and we quickly find ourselves moving away from what God intended us to be. Those who told us we could be anything we wanted to be (or anything they wanted us to be) misled us unintentionally or otherwise. We can only really be what God intended and that is when we become fully alive
But, rather than glorify God by using the gifts he gave us we seem driven to accept a strange sort of mediocrity. Is it our egos which drive us to try to be at least average at everything? Why is it not OK to be great at some things and not so good at others?
Our society feeds this need to fix things which really don’t need fixing…fixing God’s creation which is us. Using our gifts give us momentum. Fixing weaknesses weighs us down. Like the animals in the story, the more we work at the things at which we are not good, the more unhappy we become. Why pursue that which fails to satisfy? Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, not the other way around.
Pursuing the gifts we do not possess is stressful, emotionally draining, and physically harmful. Even more unfortunate, this pursuit of non-gifts draws our focus and energy away from development and pursuit of our true gifts. The result being, like the duck in the story, we end up not being very good at anything.
We begin life equipped to turn our backs to the wind and allow God’s plan to unfold before us. Instead we turn into the headwind and stagger forward, taking difficult steps, making little real progress. We choose to spend time and energy trying to make gifts of our non-gifts and ignore the gifts we have been given. It seems impossible to admit we are not good at something and yet that simple admission may be one of the most freeing moments we ever experience.
Dear God: Thank you for creating me. Help me to embrace my gifts and be free.
“If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that’s another weakness.” Jack Handey, American writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003 (b 1949).
* The Animal School was written when George Reavis, the Assistant Superintendent of the Cincinnati Public Schools back in the 1940's. This content is in the public domain and free to copy, duplicate, and distribute.
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
“Once upon a time the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of a “new world” so they organized a school. They had adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming and flying. To make it easier to administer the curriculum, all the animals took all the subjects.
The duck was excellent in swimming. In fact, better than his instructor. But he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running. Since he was slow in running, he had to stay after school and also drop swimming in order to practice running. This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he was only average in swimming. But average was acceptable in school so nobody worried about that, except the duck.
The rabbit started at the top of the class in running but had a nervous breakdown because of so much makeup work in swimming.
The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. He also developed a “charlie horse” from overexertion and then got a C in climbing and a D in running.
The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely. In the climbing class, he beat all the others to the top of the tree but insisted on using his own way to get there.
At the end of the year, an abnormal eel that could swim exceeding well and also run, climb and fly a little had the highest average and was valedictorian.
The prairie dogs stayed out of school and fought the tax levy because the administration would not add digging and burrowing to the curriculum. They apprenticed their children to a badger and later joined the groundhogs and gophers to start a successful private school.” ~*The Animal School: A Fable by George Reavis
When God created us in our mother’s womb He made us a unique individual unlike any other. He blessed us with certain gifts and not with others. God loved us into being, putting us here with a purpose and the necessary time, talent and treasure to achieve that purpose. Yet, almost from birth, we start receiving a different message. Personal achievement becomes the goal.
What we perceive as weaknesses (or the gifts we didn’t receive, because we didn’t need them to achieve God’s purpose) become things to be addressed, shored up, improved upon or hidden. As we grow family, friends, teachers, coaches, etc. impose their own expectations upon us. Stereotypes are applied (cultural, sexual, et cetera) and we quickly find ourselves moving away from what God intended us to be. Those who told us we could be anything we wanted to be (or anything they wanted us to be) misled us unintentionally or otherwise. We can only really be what God intended and that is when we become fully alive
But, rather than glorify God by using the gifts he gave us we seem driven to accept a strange sort of mediocrity. Is it our egos which drive us to try to be at least average at everything? Why is it not OK to be great at some things and not so good at others?
Our society feeds this need to fix things which really don’t need fixing…fixing God’s creation which is us. Using our gifts give us momentum. Fixing weaknesses weighs us down. Like the animals in the story, the more we work at the things at which we are not good, the more unhappy we become. Why pursue that which fails to satisfy? Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, not the other way around.
Pursuing the gifts we do not possess is stressful, emotionally draining, and physically harmful. Even more unfortunate, this pursuit of non-gifts draws our focus and energy away from development and pursuit of our true gifts. The result being, like the duck in the story, we end up not being very good at anything.
We begin life equipped to turn our backs to the wind and allow God’s plan to unfold before us. Instead we turn into the headwind and stagger forward, taking difficult steps, making little real progress. We choose to spend time and energy trying to make gifts of our non-gifts and ignore the gifts we have been given. It seems impossible to admit we are not good at something and yet that simple admission may be one of the most freeing moments we ever experience.
Dear God: Thank you for creating me. Help me to embrace my gifts and be free.
“If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell you this, but that’s another weakness.” Jack Handey, American writer and cast member of Saturday Night Live from 1991-2003 (b 1949).
* The Animal School was written when George Reavis, the Assistant Superintendent of the Cincinnati Public Schools back in the 1940's. This content is in the public domain and free to copy, duplicate, and distribute.
© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
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