You've Got a Friend

"Friendship is a knot tied by angels' hands,” Source: Anonymous


They were all gone…finally. It had been a long and exhausting week, but now it was over. Ralph’s unexpected death almost two weeks earlier now seemed like a dream. Joan had been married to him for 37 years, but two weeks ago, without indication or warning, the aneurysm had taken him. One moment he was joking with her about her new dress and the next he was gone. Since then life had whirled around her in confusion. Preparations, decisions all needed to be made at a time when she was least equipped to make them. As if that wasn’t enough, her house had gradually filled with family and friends…some just dropping by with condolences and food. Still others staying there as house guests. Sometimes she had to tolerate their vain attempts to be sympathetic. Lines like, “I know how you must feel,” or “It must have been God’s will,” or “God never gives us more than we can handle”, made here twitch.

Fortunately, it was now over. The funeral had been the day before and the last house guest had left that morning having beggared a ride to the airport from her. Finally, after two weeks, Joan was now completely alone. The house, which had always seemed too small, now seemed much too big, empty and quiet. She popped her favorite CD (Carole King’s “Tapestry”) into the player and immediately Joan began to feel the earth move under her feet as Carole “pounded the ivories”. She headed for the kitchen to make a small pot of green tea. When she returned she sat in her favorite winged back chair and closed her eyes for a moment, embracing the mug of tea with her hands. It was at that moment the strains of “You’re So Far Away” began to play. The tears leaked out from beneath her closed eyelids and her nose began to redden. Joan did nothing to staunch the flow.

After the song ended she rose to retrieve a tissue from the box on the coffee table setting her mug next to it. As Joan dabbed her eyes and blew her nose she absent mindedly glanced out the front window. To her surprise there was a car parked in front of her house…a familiar car no less. Squinting into the darkness she could make out someone sitting in the car. A moment of panic rippled through her, but as she continued to stare she realized the figure in the car was also familiar. Then, in a flash, it came to her. The car, the figure, everything… It was her best friend Marilyn. They had been friends since high school, but what was she doing here and how long had she been outside and why hadn’t she knocked and come in? Joan quickly shrugged on her coat and headed out the door.

When she got close to the car she noticed a small light was on inside. It appeared Marilyn was reading a book of all things…her cell phone carefully perched on the dash board in front of her. Joan approached from the front of the car so as not to startle her friend, but Marilyn still jumped slightly when Joan tapped on the window. The electric window glided down smoothly.

“Hi,” Marilyn said simply. “What are you doing here?” asked Joan. Marilyn carefully climbed out of the car and shut the door. “Well,” Marilyn began. “I didn’t want to bother you, right now because I knew you needed your space, but I wanted to be close by in case you needed me.” “If you did need me, I figured you’d call me on my cell and I would be here…kinda stupid huh?” she finished sheepishly. The tears started to well up in Joan’s eyes again. “No, not stupid at all,” she replied impulsively, hugging Marilyn. “I have some green tea in the brew pot. Do you want to come in for a few minutes?” “Sure,” replied Marilyn. “You probably have ‘Tapestry’ on don’t you?” “Yes”, smiled Joan, “But my best friend wasn’t so far away after all.” Arms around each others’ shoulders they headed back to the house, its welcoming lights and the strains of “You’ve Got a Friend.”

Most of us practice our faith in God rather than being stewards of our relationship with God. God is not simply the object of our faith, a name to be recited in our prayers, something in which we profess our belief or the centerpiece of an intricate and elaborate theology. He is what Marcus Borg described as an “experiential reality.” The Apostle Paul went so far as to say He is “the one in whom we live and move and have our being.”

Unfortunately most of us are like our sister Joan…sitting in a darkened, empty house…exhausted by the weight of the world and our dealings with the people in it. Mentally and emotionally spent by what are often meaningless or superficial personal interactions. Sometimes our families and friends inflict more harm on us than our enemies because we feel a sense of obligation to permit them their attempts to help us, regardless of the pain and damage they cause, however well intended.

In the meantime God, like Marilyn, sits patiently by, waiting for our call…our recognition of His presence. He gives us full freedom to be who we are and do what we want. He doesn’t bother us, or even hinder us, but he is always close by, just in case we need Him.

But good friends are not simply people who are there just when we need them. We want to spend time with them. Their presence is comforting and we enjoy being around them. Like the good friend that He is God invites us to enter into a relationship with Him. He is not simply to be tucked away only for emergencies; stored behind breakable glass, like a fire extinguisher, in case disaster strikes. Rather, we need to invite God into our lonely houses and stressful places of employment…arm and shoulder he walks with us every day…every place. No matter what…you’ve got a friend.

Dear God: Remind me first and foremost you are my friend.

You’ve Got a Friend by Carole King

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

(Refrain) You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.

If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.

(Refrain)

Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

(Refrain)

You've got a friend.

© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
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