Period of Adjustment

“Perfection is the goal, but the law is Murphy’s.” ~ Unknown

Like Zacchaeus, Ace Adams was a diminutive man. Rather than climbing trees to get a better view his habit was to sit on the backs of chairs and benches with his feet on the seat. With a name like Ace Adams it comes as no surprise his chosen avocation was the Bowling Pro at the Route 19 Bowling Center in Washington, Pa.

In my teens I joined a Saturday morning bowling league. Not so much because I liked to bowl, but because there were girls my age there too. Unfortunately, my bowling skills left much to be desired. The harder I tried the worse it got. The good news was I was welcomed onto a team because my handicap was so high. The bad news? I didn’t impress anyone with my skills, particularly the ladies.

Finally one afternoon, after a particularly poor performance in a tournament, I asked Ace for help. A day and time were arranged. The following Thursday afternoon I appeared at the lanes with my bag, ball and shoes. Ace took me to a lane at the farthest end of the building.

As was his custom he sat on the back of the plastic bench as I changed shoes and placed my ball on the return rack. Turning to face him I crossed my arms and awaited instructions. “Go ahead,” he said, gesturing toward the lane. “Don’t you want to show me what to do?” I asked. “No, go ahead and let me see you bowl.” Puzzled by his response, I half heartedly threw the ball down the alley. Even before the ball reached the pins I turned and awaited a response. “Again,” was all he said.

This went on for nearly ten minutes. After a plethora of gutter balls, missed spares and several attempts where the ball actually slipped out of my hand I was completely frustrated. “I thought you were going to teach me to bowl,” I whined. “I am,” he said with a crooked little smile. My face and posture telegraphed my surprise.

“Look,” he began. “There are two ways to teach you to bowl.” “I can show you a standard address, with a three step approach and a basic arm swing.” “You will learn to bowl quickly, but you will only be average.” “Or, I can watch you for a while, make periodic adjustments and let you practice those adjustments.” “You won’t learn to bowl quickly, but you will learn to bowl well.” “OK?” Ace asked with a smile. “OK” I responded, looking at my feet. (I had been hoping for some more immediate gratification.)

Every Thursday afternoon, for what seemed like months, I had a half hour session with Ace. Each one was the same. He would watch me for 10-15 minutes and then make minor adjustments: sometimes it was the release, the slide, the rotation or the spot. As a result, I slowly improved and my handicap steadily dropped.

I still remember the day I bowled my first 200+ game. Joyfully sharing the news with Ace, I glibly remarked, “Guess I won’t need lessons anymore!” “Have you bowled a perfect 900 series yet?” Ace asked. “No, I replied sheepishly.” “Then I’ll see you next Thursday,” Ace responded with a twinkle in his eye.

All of us want to be accomplished at living. We think there is a formula to be followed which will minimize our stress and make us happy. Numerous self help books fill our shelves (or electronic readers) suggesting they have the answer to life’s issues; that we can be happy if we will only follow a few simple instructions.

In point of fact, like my first day of bowling lessons when I expected Ace to “teach me to bowl,” we often look for instant gratification and immediate success. In other words, show me the basic techniques of living so I can get on with my life.

Such an approach can lead us to a superficial and single dimensional existence. Life is, in and of itself, a learning process, much like Ace’s bowling lessons. We start living and we make adjustments. Things happen (or don’t happen) and we make the necessary changes. Hopefully there are people like Ace in our lives who point things out and help us adjust.

We all want so desperately to be “complete” human beings. We want our current state to be a state of perfection. On the other hand, if you asked someone: “Do you want to have a future?” Most would answer, “Absolutely!” And yet, if we are “complete,” we have no future! Incompleteness, therefore, is a gift. It gives us opportunities to make adjustments and try again; to have a future.

Our need for growth is what gives us a future. Is it any wonder God loves us in our brokenness…our incompleteness? Our brokenness does not condemn us, rather it gives us life…it gives us a future. When it comes to life we will never have a perfect score, but we will have opportunities to grow and we will have a future.

Dear God: When I am frustrated or impatient, remind me that you are not finished with me yet.

“Growth implies a person is not finished and, therefore, has a future.” ~Companions in Hope: The Art of Christian Caring by Robert J. Wicks, Thomas E. Rodgerson

© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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