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“It is not titles that honor men, but men that honor titles.” ~Niccolo Machiavelli, Italian historian, philosopher, humanist and writer (1469-1527)

Teresa stared intently at the self-stick paper name badge. It had taken a few moments for her to fully grasp the reality of the words printed on it. Because of the venue she had purposely worn her dressiest black suit and her best off-white silk blouse. Now, it seemed curiously appropriate.

Finally she beckoned me over. Holding the name badge out to me, she pointed with her right index finger and spoke only a single word: “Look.” Slipping my glasses from the breast pocket of my dress coat, I put them on and peered carefully at the badge. There, on a crème white background, in precise Garamond script were three words, each on its own line: “Sister Teresa Carper.”

We looked at each other then again at the badge and began to chuckle. The young lady behind the reception table appeared at first confused, then concerned. “Is there a problem?” she asked. “Teresa is my wife,” I replied with a smile. “It would be difficult for her to be a nun under those circumstances.”

“Oh my,” she exclaimed, I thought she was your sister.” “Then why doesn’t my name badge say ‘Brother Jim Carper’?” I responded with a smirk. My lame joke fell flat.

“I’ll fix it” she said simply, reaching for the badge. “No, leave it,” Teresa answered, with a twinkle in her eye. Off we went to Evening Prayer in the chapel.

The Annual Distinguished Alumni Dinner at St. John’s Seminary is a wonderful event and we truly enjoyed Evening Prayer, a tour of the chapel, the reception, and ultimately dinner. Teresa and I became separated during the reception, but we caught up to one another at our assigned table.

Teresa bore the warm welcoming smile I have come to know well, but there was a glimmer of something else behind it I thought. We sat with the wonderful friends who had invited us and one of our favorite people, Sister Mary Elizabeth.

Afterwards, heading home on old Route 118 through Camarillo, Teresa spoke up. “I think I’m going to enter a religious order,” she said suddenly. “Really?” I answered with interest. “And how did you arrive at that conclusion?”

“I don’t know if it was the black suit or the name tag or a combination of both, but while I was at the reception, the hosts went out of their way to be helpful. They brought me a glass of wine and offered to bring me a plate of hors d'oeuvres. They couldn’t seem to do enough for me. As Sister Teresa, I got treated much better than when I’m with you,” she paused with a sideways glance.

“Several people asked me what religious order I belonged to,” she continued. “What did you tell them?” I asked. “I had to tell them I wasn’t a nun.” “And?” I asked. “They seemed confused or disappointed somehow.” She paused again.

“I showed Sister Mary Elizabeth my name tag at dinner and told her I needed to find an Order to join.” “What did she say?” I asked carefully. “She said hers was a good one! And they are recruiting.” We laughed the rest of the way home…

Life teaches us to respect titles. As children we are instructed to address adults as Mr. Mrs. or Miss. We are taught to “respect our elders.” If a member of the law enforcement community tells us to do something, we do it without questioning, often responding “Yes, officer”.

Respect for titles, and their corresponding positions, is often appropriate and sometimes necessary. In modern society, this has gone beyond honoring our elders and respecting community leaders, however. Today we often revere power, wealth, position, success – and even that precious “15 minutes of fame.” This reverence can affect how we relate with and treat one another.

Those who dedicate their lives to serving God and the world, like Sister Mary Elizabeth, deserve our respect; but one has to consider why the addition of six letters to a name badge would make a difference in the way someone is treated.

Our treatment at the hands of another should not be conditioned by our station in life or the title which accompanies our name. Honoring commitment, wisdom and longevity is one thing; but power, prestige and position are quite another.

As Christian Stewards, we are called to love and respect all people simply because, like us, they are unique creations of a loving God. From the homeless person on the street to the leader of a global power, God loves us all the same – equally. We too are called to respect and love one another fully – equally.

This love and respect comes more easily when we remember that we all bear the same significant title: “Child of God.” And we all deserve the respect that title confers.

Dear God: Remind me, that the name of each person I meet today ends with: “a Child of God.”

“I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.” ~George Washington, first President of the United States of America (1732-1799)

© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
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