Resolution Solution

“Beware the sound of one hand clapping.” ~Will Rogers, American cowboy, vaudeville performer, humorist, social commentator and motion picture actor (1879-1935). 

It was time to settle things once and for all. I had had enough of putting up with Billy Barker. We were friends once, but that ended when he started going behind my back.  He had been lying about me and it was going to stop.

Try as I might, Billy was not to be found though I had searched the entire building.  He must have discovered I was looking for him and made himself scarce.

I headed out the front door to search the grounds when I caught sight of Billy. He was standing just outside the glass double doors talking to Melissa Gilbertson. Having found my tormentor I crashed through the doors and headed straight for him.

“You jerk!” I yelled. Billy turned to face me. “What’s your problem?” he asked with a sneer. “You’re my problem!” I taunted back. “Everything about you is a problem!” We squared off opposite of one another. Melissa wisely disappeared.

“I’m tired of you sneaking around behind my back,” I snarled accusingly. “You’re tired? I’m tired of putting up with you.” Billy was facing me, arms folded, his cheeks turning scarlet. 

“Well if you’re so tired why don’t you lie down and take a nap?” I barked.

“Not until you lie down first,” Billy shouted, stiff-arming me in the shoulder.

The taunts grew louder, and the shoves got harder. Before I knew it we found ourselves on the ground wrapped in mortal combat. Moments later I felt hands, other than Billy’s, grabbing me, pulling us apart and leading us away. 

We found ourselves sitting on a hard, unforgiving, wooden bench outside a foreboding door, with opaque glass. We could hear muffled voices coming from inside the office, but could not make out what was being said.

Finally the door swung open and Jim Simpson appeared in the doorway. He silently motioned to Billy and me with the first two fingers on his right hand, indicating we were to enter the office. Once inside he indicated we were to sit in the chairs opposite his desk.

Mr. Simpson sat down behind his desk, crossed his arms, leaned forward and stared at us. “OK Barker, Carper, what is it this time?” Mr. Simpson was our grade school principal. Billy and I were eight years old.

The playground mentality of escalation is alive and well in the adult world. I call you a name, you call me something worse. I push you, you push back harder. We see this approach in business, foreign affairs, political campaigns and all too often in personal relationships. This approach creates an insidious dynamic that can only end badly unless the cycle is broken.

Jesus broke this cycle by dying for us on the cross while giving his persecutors and us unconditional forgiveness. It was the consummate de-escalation. It is an incredibly radical departure from what we would consider “the norm.”

Sometimes we find ourselves believing that, as long as we stay out of the fray, as long as we behave ourselves and keep our heads down, we are fulfilling our part of the bargain. But I think we are called to something more than that. As Christian stewards we are not only responsible for the care and use of our own gifts of time, talent and treasure, but we are called to help others realize theirs as well.

What if tomorrow, Mitt Romney walked into the Oval Office or Barrack Obama appeared at Romney’s campaign headquarters and they decided to take the billions of dollars being spent on the presidential election and worked together to fix the problems in our country? What if the Tea Partiers and the Occupy Wallstreeters chose, instead of protesting, to use their collective volunteer power to eliminate poverty in America?

Clearly escalation is not the answer. It was not the answer for me when I was eight and it is not the answer to the problems of the world today. It is only when we begin to value one another and use that new found respect to work toward mutual resolutions that things will change. We are called to be stewards of all…not just ourselves.

Dear God: Help me to stop worrying about whose right long enough for me to help save the world.

“Between an uncontrolled escalation and passivity, there is a demanding road of responsibility that we must follow.” ~Dominique de Villepin, French politician and former French Prime Minister (b1953)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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