Workaholism

“Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.” ~Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, novelist, dramatist and critic (1854-1900)

Aaron sat at his desk, staring at the pile of work that lay before him. He was only half listening to his wife, Mindy, who was on the other end of what seemed like a one-way conversation. “I know Nathan likes me to watch him play soccer, but he’s only six for God’s sake.” The words were out of his mouth before he realized he had said them.

Mindy launched another verbal offensive. Aaron continued staring at his desk, occasionally glancing impatiently at his watch. He needed to get this project done this evening. The boss had asked about it twice this week already. “How’s it goin’ with that development project you’ve been workin’ on for me?” he had said punctuated his statement with a slap on the back.

“So are you coming to Nathan’s soccer game or not?” Aaron barely heard his wife. “Mindy, how many times do I have to tell you, I need to work on this project! It’s important!” “So is our son,” she replied tersely.  “So is my job,” he fired back. “Or have you forgotten whose paycheck pays most of the bills?”

This was going badly and getting worse by the moment. “Look, the sooner I hang up and get to work, the sooner I can come home this evening.” His voice hung there in silence. “Mindy?” he asked quietly, “Are you still there?” “I’ll see you when you get home,” she replied finally and clicked off.

Aaron now had two things to fret about, the project which lay in front of him and his marriage. “Didn’t Mindy understand how important this job was?” he thought. “What if I lose it, then what?” Fear started to well up inside of him. He was in a “lose-lose” situation.

Then he remembered how he had felt as a boy. His Dad was a construction worker and took jobs when they came. He was frequently gone, and Aaron remembered what it was like when his Dad didn’t show up for his baseball games. The memories stung him.

He should call Mindy back, apologize, and tell her he was coming to the game, he thought. The project could wait till the morning. He would come in early and get it hammered out before anyone else came in.

His finger hovered over the redial button. Another wave of anxiety flowed over him like an acid bath. What if his boss came in early too? The lyrics of a song played in his head –“Should I stay or should I go?”

The term “addict” brings to mind images of the wino lying in the gutter or the junkie in a back alley with a needle sticking out of his arm. Both images are harsh realities in our modern world. Drugs and alcohol are not, however, the only addictions in today’s society. Addictions are not fueled by the object of the addiction. Rather they are driven by the feelings of fear, anxiety, and inadequacy that the alcohol or drug masks or suppresses.

Drugs and alcohol are not the problem. Trying to live our lives is the problem. Drugs and alcohol are solutions, and not very good ones at that.

Like many of us, Aaron is a workaholic. He is, in fact, addicted to work. Fueled by his fear of losing his job, work provides him with a sense of value and security. He fools himself into believing “if I’m here I must be needed, and if I am needed, I can’t lose my job.” The job gives him a false sense of purpose. It is his “not very good solution” to life.

As grateful stewards, we trust that we are created by a loving God who has a special purpose for each one of us. This “calling” requires some discernment and the cultivation of our gifts, but it also gives us a wonderful sense of value – a sense that we belong to something much bigger than ourselves.

We are called to be happy, joyous and free; something we can’t find working late at the office. But, it might be something we find spending evenings with our loved ones or watching our sons or daughters play soccer.

What things in our life prevent us from being happy, joyous and free?

Dear God: Help me to live my life in balance.

“The chains of habit are generally too small to be felt until they are too strong to be broken.” ~ Samuel Johnson, poet, essayist, moralist, literary critic, biographer, editor and lexicographer (1709-1784)

©2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.