Wake Up Call!

“We have no scar to show for happiness.” ~Chuck Palahniuk, American novelist and free-lance journalist (b. 1962)

Nicholas had lost all sense of purpose. He was a full-blown participant in the proverbial rat-race of life – and the rats were winning. The nice car, the beautiful home in the upscale neighborhood (with the “appropriate” address), the corner office with his name on the door, and all the other trappings of a successful lifestyle had only left him wanting more.

None of it brought him the satisfaction he desired. Nicholas wondered if it had ever brought him any satisfaction. “It’s like drugs,” he thought. “The more I have the more I need.”

Lately, even his wife and kids had become an annoyance. The only satisfaction he found was from his computer. He spent hours in social media sites. When he wasn’t posting, blogging, or tweeting he found himself straying into sites where he knew he shouldn’t be. It had started out innocently enough, but it had been gradually escalating.

Of late, Melissa, Nick’s wife, had been complaining that he hadn’t been spending enough time with her and their two daughters. “You’re never home,” she observed one evening. “And when you are home, you’re camped out in front of that computer of yours. I’m beginning to wonder if you have an on-line girlfriend or something.” Her last comment made Nicholas shudder because he’d recently been wondering about those kinds of sites as well.

At a friend’s suggestion, Nicholas begun seeing a counselor. Dr. Samuel was older than dirt, or so it seemed to Nicholas. The old man rarely spoke. Rather, he simply sat in his ancient leather chair, a yellow legal pad in his lap and a blue Bic pen in his hand, nodding slowly.

When he did speak it was only to ask a question. “Why do you think that is?” he would ask. Or, “Why do you think you feel that way?” And with each answer he would simply nod. It was becoming irritating!

Today was Nicholas’ fourth session with Dr. Samuel and he was not going to let him get away with just nodding for an hour. Nicholas was going to get to the bottom of what was wrong with his life. He needed to fix whatever was broken!

Nicholas was seated on the couch next to the box of tissues which always seemed to be there. Dr. Samuel settled himself into his chair. He made a quick notation on the tablet, then peered over his wire-rimmed glasses at Nicholas. “So Nick, how’s your week going so far?” (“He always starts this way,” Nicholas thought to himself).

For the next 45 minutes, he regaled the Doctor with every slight he had suffered and every irritation he had endured. “What’s the point?” he concluded. “I’m never going to be happy.”  There was a long moment of deafening silence. “Why do you say that?” replied the old doctor finally.

Nicholas exploded! “What the hell am I paying you for? I can get a recording of your voice for all the good your doing me and for a lot less money! If you’re really a counselor, you need to start counseling or I’m outa here!”

Dr. Samuel waited patiently for Nicholas to finish his diatribe. He set his tablet and pen aside and folded his old, leathery hands in his lap. “Nick, there is a big difference between advice and counseling.  Advice means telling you what you should do. Counseling is helping you find out why you are who you are. I’m a counselor, not an advisor. That’s why you pay me what you pay me.  To counsel you.”

Silence returned, except for the “tock, tock, tock” of old pendulum clock on the wall. Dr. Samuel’s could tell his answer had not satisfied Nicholas in the least. “If it’s advice you want, I’ll give you some advice. Is that what want?” After a long pause Nicholas nodded assent.

Dr. Samuels paused and wet his lips. “You need to wake up. You are asleep and you need to wake up, before death wakes you up.”

With that the wise old man picked up his tablet and pen. “Now, shall we continue?”

There is a difference living successfully and a successful life. Most of us measure success by upward mobility and the acquisition of possessions. If I am progressing socially upward and can purchase the things I want, then I should be happy.  When we rely on possessions and status to make us happy, however, the only way we can continue to be happy is by continuing to raise our status and/or by buying more and better things.

Possessions are not the problem though. But for some of us, they are the symptom of a much deeper problem. Happiness does not come from getting what we want, but from wanting what we have.

Many of us go through life suffering from a kind of spiritual death. Often it takes an encounter with physical death to remind us that all glory is fleeting and all possessions eventually turn to dust. Joy comes from within and is always within our immediate grasp.

This was the “advice” Dr. Samuel gave Nicholas. Wake up to the joy within you. Otherwise, you won’t realize what is really important until you face physical death.

Dear God: Help me to wake up – now!

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”  ~Albert Camus, French author, journalist and philosopher (1913-1960)

©2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.