It's a Stretch!

“By compassion we make others’ misery our own, and so, by relieving them, we relieve ourselves also.” ~Thomas Browne, Sr., Revolutionary War soldier, and Superintendent of the Southern Indian Department (1750-1825)


She was a big woman; wrapped in a navy blue sweater, with a lime green bandana, flecked with red, engulfing her head.

“Look at me!” “I am strong.” “I am not sick.” “I want to live!” “And I am so very grateful for the food you give me.” “It helps keep my body well.”

Only minutes before, we had entered like rock stars processing down the center aisle of the packed, tented shelter. The audience greeted us with applause, cheers and smiles. Now, we were seated on dark green plastic chairs listening to the testimonies of the participants. Some of us were interspersed with the group, others sat facing them, but we were all brothers and sisters as one. We had come to feed and to be fed.

Once a month victims of HIV/AIDS and their families, the lepers of modern times, come to Holy Cross Catholic Church situated physically and emotionally in the heart of Dandora, Kenya, just outside Nairobi. Dandora is located literally at the city dump where 400 tons of refuse are deposited daily. Hogs root in the garbage while carrion birds circle overhead. Acrid smoke, produced by the heat of natural composting, rises from smoldering piles. Scavengers, of the human variety, pick through trash in an attempt to eek out a living from the discards of the more prosperous of society.

St Monica Catholic Church, through a ministry known as “Veronica’s Place” donates about $16,000 a year to feed those in Dandora who suffer with HIV/AIDS. Once a month they come to the parish to receive a small ration of corn meal, rice and a bit of oil. In this setting it is easy to imagine the prophet Elijah requesting a small cake made of oil and flour from an old widow.

Western stereotypes of AIDS sufferers are obliterated here. Many with whom we chatted were mothers with small children who gratefully identified the members of their families who were not HIV positive. Some were so weak their ability to accomplish the short walk back to their homes was in question. Even a decent bag to carry their food stuffs would have been a luxury for most. And yet they gave testimony to their gratitude for what they had received, little as it was by our standards.

Many of us exercise our bodies: at the fitness center, on the jogging trail or by participating in various sports activities. Some of us exercise our minds through a variety of academic endeavors, learning a foreign language, solving puzzles or reading. Some of us even work at improving our “Karma” through spiritual exercises, yoga, tai chi, or meditation. But how many of us exercise our hearts; not in the physical sense, but in a loving sense?

Muscles grow through a process of tearing down and rebuilding. Mental capacity grows by confronting our minds with new ideas, new obstacles, new challenges, but how do we grow and stretch our hearts. How do we expand our capacity to love? We do so by acts of compassion which require us to encounter the marginalized of our world…to challenge our hearts just as we challenge our bodies and our minds

Christian stewardship teaches us everything is a gift from God, to be received gratefully and returned to God with increase. We enter into this process by becoming conduits of God’s gifts and in so doing we enter, what Fr. Robert Barron refers to as, the “loop of grace”. When we enter this loop, through sharing our gifts of time, talent and treasure, we find the more we give the more we receive. This occurs in part because gifts are not intended to be possessed, but rather to be given freely.

The poor, the destitute, the underprivileged, the marginalized, the lepers of society, viewed in this context, as potential recipients of our gifts, are no longer burdens to be shouldered, but opportunities to serve; invitations to enter the loop of grace, to practice compassion and to stretch our hearts, giving us an even greater capacity to love.

To those of us predisposed to exercise a steep hill can be viewed, not as an obstacle, but as an opportunity for a quick work out. A book can be something which collects dust or it can be a gateway to a new perspective or idea.

On that day, in that place, it would have been easy to despair; to be like the disciples telling Jesus, “We don’t have enough to feed these people,” but instead our hearts were stretched and our capacity for compassion expanded. Without disruption we entered the loop of grace and our lives were forever changed.

Dear God: help me each day to seek ways to stretch my heart; increasing my capacity for love.

“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” Dali Lama, Head of the Dge-lugs-pa order of Tibetan Buddhists, 1989 Nobel Peace Prize winner (b 1935)


© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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