No Matter What!

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired,”
~Terri (age 4)

(Email dated 11/17/2011)

From the heart:

From the time my first son turned 14, I soon realized that putting a guitar in a boy’s hand (and perhaps girls too, I just don’t have any girl children) is just like giving them their first dump truck… They take to it like a duck to water!!  But, when I looked into the price of guitar lessons, I soon realized that was not in my disposable income price range… The braces on my children’s teeth took care of that!! 

My oldest son took free lessons in a guitar class held by his High School but my younger son had no such opportunity.  I heard about a national program called “Guitars Not Guns.”  This program gives children a creative outlet to showcase their talents in a positive way as well as gives them mentors and builds their connections to the community. 

The first class that I took my son to was amazing!  It was taught by a 16-year old with a Mohawk!!  My kid was hooked, this wasn’t some adult saying… play this, this was a cool dude sporting a Mohawk!! To top it off, I found out if each participating child attends all 6 classes, they walk away with a guitar of their very own to bring home and to keep them motivated to play guitar rather than roam the streets. 

This is all great, right?  But… something else happened… there were two little boys, one was 11 and one was 13.  The 13 year old hovered over the 11 year old (as in protecting) and did all the talking.  I introduced myself to the boys and of course gravitated right to the shy one. 

After exchanging a few smiles, and getting closer and closer to him… he spoke to me.  He asked me, “Are you going to be here next time too?”  If you want me to be then I will, is what I told him. 

Before class was over, a disheveled woman with sadness and pain in her eyes and features, rushed in to collect these two boys as though they were laundry being picked up in a rush from the cleaners.  It was awkward and sudden and felt wrong to me.  I also thought it was a shame that she couldn’t wait 15 minutes and let her sons finish class.  I wanted to help her, but felt powerless. 

When she left, the program director told me that she had just gotten custody back and the boys had been in foster care for several months until just a couple days prior. 

My heart went out to those boys, especially the shy one. Before the little one left, he ran up to me and wrapped his arms around my leg… of all things, as in a kind of awkward and low hug… it was adorable and I melted!  He said, “See you next time!”

I came into work the next day and told everyone about this class and these two adorable boys that I couldn’t wait to see next session!!  I could still feel the little squeeze of a hug on my leg and those brown eyes looking up at me, almost pleading like.

The next class I was there with treats even!!  Some granola bars and some juice to surprise my new friends with…  I waited and waited.  My son sat and played and learned from the cool teen instructor… And I watched out the window.  Those boys never came back… Ever…

A couple weeks later after doing my best to investigate the situation and find these boys… I was told that once again they were in foster care.  Due to confidentiality, that was all I could know.  I quickly sent a “Guitars Not Guns” program brochure and schedule to every foster care agency in my area… but I have never seen either of those boys again…

Tragedy, right???  Not so much because somewhere there is a little boy that knows that the Y is here to support him and the people that work for the Y and wear the funny Y logos are here to love him. I vow to be that one source of light, even if it’s fleeting…. to every child who needs to know that someone cares.  I will never stop caring, even if I never see Joshua again.  

And that’s from my heart!! XO ~Taurie, Golden State YMCA

Stewardship is not about taking time out to do stewardly things. Rather it is about living our lives as Christian Stewards 24/7/365. This comes from the recognition that all our time on this earth is God’s time. But even the best of us need reminders.

One of those reminders comes through our signs and symbols. Symbols are not always specifically religious however. Because of Taurie, the Y logo became a symbol of something good, reassuring and meaningful to an eleven year old boy.

As Christians we often display crosses or a crucifix. Our crosses remind us that God loves us, NO MATTER WHAT, profoundly demonstrated by allowing His Son to die for us. In turn, we too are called to love others, NO MATTER WHAT.

As we enter this new year, let us resolve ourselves to be like Taurie - to be a light to others, to the world. To care when no one else seems to and to know, that sometimes no matter what we do, or how hard we try, things will not play out the way we had hoped. But above all, to NEVER STOP CARING! We may well be the only light in the life of another.

Dear God: Bless everyone in whatever it is that you know they may need this day.

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” ~Bobby (age 7)

 © 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship”  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. 

Are All Welcome?

“A smile is the universal welcome.” ~Max Eastman, American author, journalist and writer (1883-1969)

John Q was a Catholic in name only. Baptized in a Catholic church, his parents had forced him to attend confirmation classes even though they never really went to Mass themselves. Occasionally they would attend a Christmas Midnight Mass or an Easter service.

John’s dad was fond of having a few too many “toddies” during Christmas Eve dinner. Then off they would go to Mass. His dad, still smelling of booze, would always nod off during the sermon. One year, he snored so loudly, the priest actually stopped mid sentence. That was the last time they ever went to Midnight Mass.

Now, at 37 years of age, John Q, for the first time in a long time, found himself outside a Catholic church – and on Christmas Eve no less. His divorce from his second wife had been final only a month earlier; his kids were spending Christmas with their Mom (his first wife) and her new husband. John’s girlfriend, a secular Jew, was back in New York, visiting her family.

The office party had ended an hour or so earlier. Rather than drive home to an empty apartment, John had chosen to walk for a while to “clear his head,” and had ended up here. Even before tonight, he had felt an emptiness in his life that he couldn’t seem to fill. His efforts to find meaning and solace had failed. So here he stood, alone on Christmas Eve, in front of a Catholic Church.

 He was invisible amidst the clamor of people coming to Christmas Eve services. Laughter was all around him as people greeted one another on their way up the broad stone stairs. With his hands stuffed deep into the pockets of his black pea coat he wondered if there was an open bar close by. Maybe his dad always had one too many at Christmas just to fortify his courage to go to Mass.   

“What am I doing here anyway?” he thought. The answer came back quietly but distinctly: “I’m here because I have nowhere else to go.” People were rushing in through the church doors now. Mass was about to begin. He could hear the organ playing and a familiar hymn being sung. His right foot rested uneasily on the bottommost step. 

He looked back the way he had come. The streetlights seemed to dim for a moment. The siren song of the secular world tugged at him. “Surly there must be a bar or restaurant open close by” he thought. His focus returned to the church door and the music flowing from it; his weight shifting from one foot to the other…

Will John Q go in? More importantly, how will he be received if he does?

  The “average Joe” no longer resides in a nuclear household (a married couple with their own children). In fact, we are not only ethnically diverse, we have become a nation of diverse living arrangements, too. Singles constitute 25.5% of households, the number of nuclear families has decreased 40%, and the divorce rate is skyrocketing and the marriage rate is dropping. The only truism is that most Americans will marry at least once in their lifetime, with the first marriage most likely ending in divorce. 

So what message do we give (twice-divorced, single) John when he enters a church service celebrating a nuclear family: Jesus, Mary and Joseph? Jesus’ birth family may have been well-rounded in appearance, but consider this: Mary was pregnant out of wedlock and Joseph nearly divorced her. And we often forget that Mary was a single Mom most of her life.

Nor did Jesus hang out in the suburbs with nice “normal” church-going families. He was a blue color, single guy. He saved an adulteress from stoning. The Samaritan woman he engaged at the well lived with a man out of wedlock.

Jesus ate with tax collectors and prostitutes. He even hung out at the docks and in the rough part of town. In short, Jesus broke boundaries, he didn’t create them. He welcomed and engaged everybody, regardless of who they were or how it reflected upon him.

We often joke about the “CEO Catholics” (those who attend at Christmas and Easter only), but why do they keep returning to our doors every year? What keeps them coming back? It is simply this: they are not finding the spiritual sustenance they need in the world. Like John Q, nothing seems to satisfy the emptiness in their lives. But what do we have to offer them instead?

As Christian stewards, what are we doing to welcome those “CEO’s”? How are we communicating to them that they are welcome at our parish or in our homes? Are we the loving father of the prodigal son, welcoming them with open arms, running out to greet them? Or, are we the resentful older brother, who, because we never left (our church), feel entitled. Are we breaking boundaries, or are we creating artificial ones?

This Christmas I ask you – I challenge you – to say hello to someone you don’t recognize at church. Greet people outside, as well as inside.

 Does John Q go up the stairs and enter the church on Christmas Eve? It might be your greeting or “Merry Christmas” or a thoughtful “How are you?” that makes the difference. We need to be like Jesus, welcoming everyone.  We need to be the face of Christ to the world.

 Dear God: When it comes to welcoming people, let me be a boundary breaker.

  “The church is the great lost and found department.”  ~ Rev. Robert L. Short, Presbyterian minister and writer (1932-2009)

  © 2010 & 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 & 2011James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2010 & 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Scrooged

“There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not here anymore.” ~ The Spirit of Christmas Present (“Scrooge” 1970)

In 1843, Charles Dickens wrote A Christmas Carol. It was one of a series of successful Christmas books by Dickens which he described as “a whimsical sort of masque intended to awaken loving and forbearing thoughts.”  There have been at least ten movie versions of this classic tale, the first in 1938 and the most recent being released in 2009.  These include a Muppet, a Mickey Mouse and a 3D version. 

Why do we keep returning to this endearing tale of the reformation of the irritable miser, Ebenezer Scrooge?  It is because, beneath the sarcasm and cruel remarks (“then let them die and reduce the surplus population”), he is us.  He is obsessed with work and the acquisition of money.

Scrooge is defined by his work to the point of sacrificing his one true love. “And as your business prospered, Ebenezer Scrooge, a golden idol took possession of your heart, as Alice said it would” (The Spirit of Christmas Past).

Most of us define ourselves more by our work than by any other single factor. 

When the World Trade Center Memorial Foundation announced that victims' names would be displayed, without specifying the company they worked for, a group of their families denounced the plan, saying it robbed victims “of the human qualities that rallied and sustained the nation.”  

Why do we do this?  Why don’t people ask to be identified as “a parent” or as “a Christian”? Why do we define ourselves by our jobs rather than by who we are or what we believe?

First, because it is the easiest way to measure our success at living life – a way of keeping score.  Rather than being happy, we try to quantify our happiness: i.e. I have a really good job where I spend a lot of time.  It helps me have more money, a bigger house, a nicer car and more stuff; therefore I must be happy. 

On the other hand, Jesus was essentially an itinerant preacher from a poor family who lived, on the “other side of the tracks” in Galilee.  He died a humiliating and excruciating death.  How would you measure his success?

Second, it is our way of exercising control.  If I can acquire it, I can control it. Money, power, possessions and prestige are manifestations of successful living which seem to allow us to say, “I have got this life thing licked.” 

Jesus, however, reminds us we have no control.  “But God said to him, ' You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?' (Luke 12:20). 

This is the important lesson Ebenezer learns on a snowy Christmas Eve. Scrooge’s obsessive quest for success, defined by his work and accumulation of riches and wealth, does not garner him happiness. Quite the opposite. Staring into his own open grave, he realizes that his life, which is filled with success and money, has been empty. I doubt any of us would choose a tombstone inscription which reads, “I should have spent more time at the office.” 

After this epiphany, what changes on Christmas morning for Ebenezer?  He is just as wealthy.  He still owns his business, to which he will undoubtedly return the next day.  What makes him go from miserable and miserly to merry and generous overnight? 

HE BECOMES A STEWARD!!!  A Christian Steward is “One who receives God’s gifts gratefully, cherishes and tends them in a responsible and accountable manner, shares them in justice and love with others, and returns them with increase to the Lord” (Stewardship, A Disciple’s Response).

Scrooge accepts God’s gift of life gratefully and, more importantly, he recognizes the gift of the “opportunity to change” his life, a gift which all of us receive.  For the rest of the story Ebenezer goes about “cherishing and tending” his many gifts “in a responsible and accountable manner” and “sharing them in justice and love with others.”

He begins by making amends to those he has harmed, starting with his nephew.  As the story comes to an end, he sets about restoring Bob Crachit’s life and livelihood. And, we are pretty much assured he will make sure Tiny Tim gets the necessary medical attention he needs.   

To paraphrase Tiny Tim “God has blessed us, every one.”  How will we define ourselves this coming year?  More importantly, how will we keep Christmas in our hearts 24/7/365? 

Dear God: remind us that you have blessed us, every one.

“Mortal! We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will.” ~The Spirit of Christmas Present (“A Christmas Carol” 1951)

 © 2008, 2009, 2010 & 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship”  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2008, 2009,  2010 & 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the”© 2008, 2009, 2010& 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Living to Work

“Work is the refuge of people who have nothing better to do.” ~Oscar Wilde, Irish poet, novelist, dramatist and critic (1854-1900)

Babushka kept her son’s toys stored away in a cupboard. He had died unexpectedly in infancy. Daily she busied herself tending house – cooking, cleaning, baking, washing… One morning there was a knock at the door.  She opened it to find the three Kings, the Magi. 

Since they traveled by night (to follow the star) they asked if they could sleep at Babushka’s house for the day as there was no inn in the small town.  Babushka fed them and gave them a place to sleep until the sun set and the star reappeared.

As the Magi were preparing to leave that evening, Balthazar invited Babushka to come with them to find a new king they were seeking. Unfortunately she was “too busy” and, after all, she would need time to find “an appropriate gift.”

After the Magi departed, Babushka resumed doing those things with which she was most comfortable – sweeping, polishing, dusting, cleaning – but Balthazar’s invitation continued to tug at her.  A thought came to her. She went to the cupboard where her son’s toys were stored and opened the door. 

After some consideration, Babushka decided the toys would make good gifts for the “new born King,” but, of course, they needed to be thoroughly cleaned first.  She spent the rest of the night cleaning and polishing the toys.  Once finished, she planned to leave in the morning, overtaking the Magi while they slept during the day.

Daybreak came. The toys looked like new, but exhausted from her work, Babushka fell asleep and did not awake until after nightfall. Realizing she was now almost two days behind the Magi, she quickly packed up the toys and rushed out to find the three Kings. 

She followed their path from village to village, but arrived in Bethlehem too late. The Magi had “gone home another way” to avoid Herod.  Likewise, Joseph had spirited Mary and the baby Jesus away to Egypt to escape the “slaughter of the innocence”. 

Not knowing what else to do Babushka began to wander the world, and continues to do so every Christmas Eve.  Still carrying her bag of toys, she gives them to small children in the hope that one of them is the Christ child. 

Babushka, in modern terms, is a workaholic.  When Balthazar offers Babushka the opportunity to come along to find the Christ child she is “too busy" with what she sees as important: her work. 

Work is more than just work, however.  As it is for most of us, it is her security blanket.  Going to find the baby Jesus means doing something with which she is unaccustomed.  It means stepping out of her comfort zone. 

As Americans we often define ourselves by our work.  Like Babushka, work makes us feel secure because we know what we are supposed to do and how we are supposed to do it. It is also a coping mechanism. Babushka addresses the pain of losing her infant son by distracting herself with work. 

The difficulty is that we are often so busy with our work, with what we think is important, that we fail to hear God’s call.  Sometimes we are called to set aside life’s distractions, particularly our work: “‘Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.’ Immediately they left their nets and followed Him.” (Mark 4:18)

As good stewards of our time, we are called upon to find a balance in our lives.  If we are going to follow Jesus we are, at times, going to have to set some things aside.  In a way, Jesus is saying, “Put down your nets before you get tangled in them.” We can become entangled in the net we call work, so much so that we do not know any other way to function. 

As Christian Stewards we know time is a gift from God and how we use that gift is important. How will we spend Christmas this year?  Will we be too busy with other things to notice our greatest gifts?  Will we become entangled in our own nets and complain we are too busy? 

Will we allow old resentments, fears and hurts to hold us back from experiencing the love which is readily available to us?  Will we be like Babushka who is so distracted by her work she ultimately encounters an empty stable and spends the rest of her days trying to find happiness? 

Put down your nets this Christmas and come to the manger. Jesus is waiting for you.

Dear Lord, remind me your Son calls me to something greater than myself.

“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important” Bertrand Russell, English logician and philosopher (1872-1970)

(Babushka is the Russian version of Santa Claus.)

 © 2009 and 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

 “90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Director of Development for the Southeast Ventura County YMCA in Ventura County, California  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Rich in Gratitude

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ~G.K. Chesterton, English journalist, novelist and essayist (1874-1936)

The king was riding in the northern woods of his kingdom when he came upon his old gamekeeper Yorick. Yorick was as ancient as the woods themselves. Kneeling on his cloak he appeared to be praying. The king’s horse snorted, startling the old man.

At once he came to his feet, turned and bowed to greet his master. “Milord,” he said with a crinkled smile. “My apologies, I did not hear you ride up.” “I was preparing to eat my mid day meal and was busy thanking our good and wonderful God for my many blessings.”

On the old man’s cloak lay a single piece of crusty bread, a bit of cheese and a small portion of dried jerky. “Is all well here in my woods?” asked the king. “Yes, Milord,” came the response. “Then return to your meal old man,” he replied.

“Thank you Milord.” Yorick turned, fell to his knees, and returned to his prayers.

The king watched him for a few moments, marveling how someone could be so grateful for so little. Then reining his horse around, he left.

The king returned to his castle near dusk. As he was dismounting his horse his Seer came running out into the courtyard.

“Milord, I must speak to you immediately.”

“What is it fortune teller?” the king asked bruskly.

“I have had a dream, a vision.” 

“What has this to do with me?”

“I dreamed the richest man in the kingdom would die tonight.”

The king paled. “This could only be me.”

Dismissing the Seer, he immediately retreated to his chambers summoning the royal physician and the priest. The priest was instructed to pray while the physician performed a complete examination. It yielded nothing. “There seems to be nothing wrong with you,” he kept repeating.

Through the night the king paced, the priest prayed, and the physician made periodic examinations. Nothing happened.

Finally, as the sun was rising, the king dismissed the priest and the physician and ordered a hearty breakfast. As he was eating, a knock came at the door. “Enter!” he barked.

The door opened and a servant stepped into a bedroom chamber. “Milord,” he said with a curt bow. “Your faithful gamekeeper, old Yorick, died during the night. We thought you should know.”

“Make sure he is properly buried. Now let me finish my breakfast in peace.”

“Yes, Milord.” Another curt bow and the servant vanished through the doorway.

As he ate the king pondered the fate of his misguided Seer. “How could he have gotten it wrong?” “How foolish to confuse the ancient gamekeeper with the richest man in the kingdom!”

Positions, power, possessions and prestige may provide us with temporary satisfaction, but in and of themselves they can never make us happy. More often than not we are materially rich, but spiritually poor. To fully experience the richness of life we must first develop a sense of gratitude for everything we have. Wealth may give us a false sense of security, but it doesn’t give us joy.

To be happy we must first cultivate a sense of gratitude within ourselves. All too often, gratitude is replaced with a sense of entitlement. We tell ourselves we deserve something; after all we earned it didn’t we? But entitlement can only lead to unhappiness when we don’t get what we think we deserve.

What if tomorrow you awoke to discover that the only things you had, were the things for which you had been grateful the day before? Everything we have is a gift from God. Gifts require our gratitude. The power of love is that we are loved though we do not deserve it nor are we entitled to it. God’s love is our greatest gift.

The Seer wasn’t wrong. Yorick was the richest man in the kingdom, not because of the sum total of his possessions, but because his gratitude exceeded even those who had much more than he.

It is our gratitude which, in the end, brings us joy and makes us rich. 

God, make me grateful today…for everything.

“As each day comes to us refreshed and anew, so does my gratitude renew itself daily. The breaking of the sun over the horizon is my grateful heart dawning upon a blessed world.” ~Terri Guillemets, American quotation anthologist (b. 1973)

© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

 “90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Director of Development for the Southeast Ventura County YMCA in Ventura County, California  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. 

Recommendation Letters

“If you can't feed a hundred people, then feed just one.” ~Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta, Roman Catholic nun, Nobel Peace Prize recipient, founded the Missionaries of Charity (1910-1997)

It was the Sunday before Thanksgiving and at the Parish Center things were humming. Two rows of turkeys, stuffed, seasoned, slathered with herb butter, bagged, and lying in pans, lined the length of the marble-green counter waiting their turn in the oven. 

Marcus and Kristine systematically removed turkeys from the oven and loaded in fresh ones.  The cooked turkeys rested on a separate counter for an appropriate interval before their carcasses were stripped of their succulent meat, which was transferred to metal pans for storage.

Thomas was shuttling donations of turkeys from the parking lot to the kitchen door in a gray pushcart.  Marcus divided his time between cooking and helping Thomas carry the uncooked birds from the cart to a temporary storage location. 

Every time Marcus thought he had emptied the cart it would reappear, replenished with turkeys.  “Aren’t we ever going to run out?” Marcus asked Thomas.  “It’s a cornucopia” smiled Thomas.  “Or the miracle of the multiplication of the turkeys,” chuckled Marcus.  Sunday afternoon came and went.  Even as the winter California sun dipped below the horizon, the turkeys kept coming.

In Mark’s version of the “Feeding of the 5,000” (Mark 6:35-44), it is evening and the crowd, which has spent the day listening to Jesus preach, is famished.  The disciples come to Jesus and ask him to send the people away so they can get something to eat. 

Jesus’ answer is short and to the point: “You give them something to eat,” he says.  But the disciples respond, “We don’t have enough.”  Jesus reply is again succinct, “How many loaves do you have?” The disciples’ search produces five loaves and two fish.  Jesus receives the bread, blesses it, breaks it, and distributes it.  As it turns out, there was more than enough.

Like the disciples, we often ask God to send our problems away.  We find ourselves asking God to change our circumstances rather than thanking Him for the abundance we already enjoy. How often do we hope someone else will handle the problems of the world, the community, or even our family? 

“Someone ought to do something about that!” we say. “But not me,” we mutter quietly to ourselves.  We subliminally respond, “We don’t have enough?” 

“If [however] our entry into heaven required a letter of reference from the poor, would we be able to get one?”  There are 1.02 billion hungry people in the world today.  Every day

over 16,000 children will die from hunger, 1 every 5 seconds. 

How can there not be enough?  The combined net worth of the three richest people in the world is greater than the combined net worth of the 48 poorest nations, representing one quarter of the world’s population. 

The real miracle of the “feeding of the 5,000” is God working through us when we think “we don’t have enough”.  Marcus’ and Thomas’ turkeys didn’t appear by magic, but the Holy Spirit was definitely on duty that day.  It is Jesus speaking to us in our heart of hearts and saying, “What do you have?” and our realizing that what we have is more than enough, and then acting upon that realization. 

Come share in the miracle; not just now, but all year round.  The poor are waiting out there with our recommendation letters.

Dear God: Remind me daily that I have more than enough.

“If you offer your food to the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted, then your light shall rise in the darkness and your night will become like the noonday.”  Isaiah 58:10

 

© 2009 and 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

 
“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Director of Development at Southeast Ventura County YMCA's.  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

Civilly Convicted

“What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they   are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about   their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”  ~ Robert F. Kennedy, U.S. Attorney General and advisor (1925-1968)  My finger hovered over the enter key. With a single stroke I could send the offending “friend” away into “unfriended” oblivion. I paused.  The whole thing had started innocently enough with an obtuse religious slur camouflaged by a joke of sorts. I sent, what I thought was, a “diplomatic” clarifying response. “Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I’m a member of any particular group,” I had commented.   The electronic “pile-on” started almost immediately. Like an electronic nightmare the terse one-liners came. The more I responded the more the comments flew back at me, the hostility and negative energy escalating.  Comments were coming from people I didn’t even know and who didn’t know me and yet I was being convicted for my convictions.  (My brand new piece of technology had promised me the ultimate in an electronic experience, an unbridled capacity to communicate. Unfortunately this was not the experience for which I had been looking.)  So there I sat, about to electronically remove someone from my life. Someone I had known for over thirty years. Would the instant gratification quickly give way to a mountain of regret? The blue box with white letters “REMOVE FROM FRIENDS?” glowed at me. “ARE YOU SURE…?” it asked. No, I wasn’t.  I quickly closed the site promising myself I wouldn’t return to it for awhile.  It seems we need to assure ourselves we have villains so that we might be heroes. But life isn’t so simple. I am not the demographic average of a particular group who shares one or more of my beliefs.  Dr Richard Mouw, in his book, Uncommon Decency, quotes Martin Marty: "One of the real problems in life is that the people who are good at being civil often lack strong convictions and people who have strong convictions often lack civility." Dr. Mouw suggests we need both a civil outlook and a "passionate intensity" about our convictions. What we need is a "convicted civility."  This is easy to proclaim and very difficult to do. To love and care about someone while they are ranting against a belief or beliefs we hold sacred is challenging. And yet, it is not our ability to convince another that what we believe is right. Rather it is our ability to affirm our convictions while remaining civil, kind and loving even to those who passionately (and even aggressively) disagree with us. This action will speak louder than our words.  The measure of who we are will not be taken by our ability to verbally wrestle another to the ground, or to “out-clever” them, or to “out-post” them. Rather, in the face of all things, we are called to love them. After all, isn’t that what Jesus did?  Dear God: Teach me convicted civility. “It takes a disciplined person to listen to convictions which are different from their own.” ~Dorothy Fuldheim, American journalist and anchor(1893-1989)   © 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.  “90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Stewardship Coordinator for Saint Monica Catholic Community in Santa Monica, California.  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

One on One

“There is no greater calling than to serve your fellow man. There is no greater contribution than to help the weak. There is no greater satisfaction than to have done it well.” ~Walter Reuther, American Labor Organizer (1907-1970)

It was Wednesday afternoon and the indoor basketball court at the local Y was bustling with activity. Two half-court pickup games were in full gear, just a bunch of guys burning off nervous energy and testosterone. It was the shirts versus the skins. They banged and bumped, shouted and shot, razzing their opponents and rooting for their team mates. Basketball shoes chirped against the wooden floor.  

The two half courts were separated by only a narrow expanse of floor: little more than a wooden-floored alley-way with invisible walls. There, in the midst of this cacophony of physical activity, was a solitary woman. 

Her hair was mousy brown and she had a slight overbite. She was dressed in light pink belled stretch pants and an ill-fitting white polo shirt. On her feet she wore white, high-top, lace-up tennis shoes. Her movements were jerky and looked particularly awkward compared to the grace and physical acumen of the players who surrounded her.  

The woman was attempting to slap-dribble a regulation NBA basketball. Rather than “pumping” the ball, keeping it as low to the ground as possible, she would slap it on top to make it bounce and then try to slap it down again on each rebound. At the same time, she took halting steps forward as if she were attempting to dribble down court. Her movements were graceless, none seeming to coordinate with the others. 

Suddenly the ball bounced particularly high. She reached up to slap it down, but instead, her slap launched the ball into the middle of one of the pickup games. Everything came to a sudden and abrupt halt. Her ball came to rest at the feet of a particularly burley participant. Two crosses were tattooed on his chest and a day’s growth of beard shadowed his face.  

He looked down at the ball and then across the court at the woman who stood there staring at him, a worried look on her face.  Bending over, he plucked the ball from the floor. Then, cradling it in his left arm, he strode purposefully toward the woman.  She continued to stare at him expectantly until he reached her. Then her gaze went to the floor.

By now the other game had come to a halt as well as they all looked on. The burly basketball player reached out with his right hand and placed it gently on the woman’s back. “You OK?” he asked softly. The woman looked up from the floor and nodded with a toothy grin. 

With his left hand he carefully presented the ball to her. She curled her arms upward embracing the ball as she did so. “You be careful now,” he said kindly. “We don’t want you to get hurt.” Again, she looked at him nodding with the same toothy grin. 

He smiled, patted her on the shoulder, and then returned to his game. The gym came alive again: two hotly-contested pickup games and a solitary woman, slap-dribbling a basketball down the middle between them. 

Amidst the bustle and confusion of life, it is often easy to miss or ignore the individuals who most need our loving attention. In a world of mega-charities (over 3 million in the United States alone), we often abrogate our responsibility for our fellow travelers on this earth, assuming our donations will take care of it all. We give generously of our wealth. But do we give generously of ourselves? 

Perhaps the greatest gift we can share is our humanity – our humanness. Human necessities, such as food and clothing, can be provided, but how much more important it is for us to nurture the human person. 

It might surprise some to know this story relates only one of many such occurrences; this same scenario repeats itself often on this particular basketball court. The woman’s ball is retrieved for her regularly. Once she was hit by an errant pass. The players surrounded her to make sure she was OK; to reassure her and to comfort her. 

As stewards we are reminded that the care of others can never be fully delegated to an organization and that donations of our treasure are only a partial fulfillment of our responsibility to the rest of humankind. Rather, we are called to love and nurture one another, one-on-one. 

Dear God: Who needs my time, attention and comfort today? 

“How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these.” ~George Washington Carver, American, started life as a slave and ended it as a horticulturalist, chemist and educator (1864-1943)

© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Stewardship Coordinator for Saint Monica Catholic Community in Santa Monica, California.  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. 

Quotation Confrontation

“The first duty of love is to listen” ~Paul Tillich, German born American theologian and philosopher (1886-1965)

We had shared an office for less than two months. I knew her faith tradition and she knew mine. Both devout Christians, it seemed we had silently agreed to disagree, but what we actually believed had never been discussed.

All I knew for sure was she had been raised in a strict Southern Baptist home. Her father was, in fact, a Baptist minister. This essentially meant no singing, dancing, games or even music in the house.

Like most arguments, it was a stupid argument. Anything beyond a discussion is always unnecessary escalation, but so it went. It had started innocently enough; Just a simple question really. “Have you been saved?” she had asked. “Of course,” I responded, without really paying attention.

Then came my mistake. “I was saved when Christ died on the cross,” I added cleverly, almost as an afterthought. “That’s not all there is to it you know!” she retorted. “I know,” I replied dismissively. “It’s how you live out that commitment as well.” At this point I had moved on, but she hadn’t.

“It’s not about what you do, it’s about making Christ your personal Savior.”  The expression was all too familiar. It was time to walk away, but I couldn’t. I was sitting at my own desk in the office we shared.  “For me, it’s a little more than a simple declaration; I think it’s about how you live your life.”

Now I had passed the point of no return. I should have recognized the age-old argument of faith versus works. Instead I had run head long into one of the oldest debates in Christendom. Compromise had never been achieved between Protestants and Catholics on this subject, nor would it be on this day.

The curt discussion quickly degenerated into volleys of Bible text, mostly Romans on her side (Martin Luther’s favorite) and the Book of James on mine. I probably should have avoided quoting the line about faith without works being “thoroughly lifeless.”

Suddenly she was up and out of her chair and on her way out the door.  “I have things to do,” she said curtly over her shoulder, then disappeared around the corner in the direction of the copy room.

We are fast becoming a world of “who can out-quip who.” The confrontation between my office partner and me related to religion, but it could have been about politics, social issues or even sports. Rather than engaging in frank honest discussion, it became a contest as to who could cite the more authoritative reference.

 If you happen to be a fan of social networking you know that there are entire strings of authoritative “comments.” Some post seem to be the equivalent of verbal landmines just waiting for someone to “step on them.”

Not too surprisingly, there is a word for this. It’s called “proof-texting.” It occurs when you adopt a particular stance on an issue, then search for documentation (usually quotes) to justify taking that position.

My argument with my friend arose out of a smug self confidence in my own beliefs and the ill-advised belief that a discussion of this kind could be easily handled with a few choice comments. In other words, I tried to take a short cut where there was none to be taken.

True confidence in our beliefs cannot be demonstrated by reliance on a few pithy quotes or a download from YouTube. Confidence in our beliefs is truly demonstrated by our willingness to respectfully engage others in an effort to fully explore why they believe what they believe.

In my situation, how much better it would have been if I had responded with a genuine question like: “I’m not sure I understand that expression. What does it mean exactly?” Or, “How has that belief served you in your life?”

Rather than employing a bumper sticker mentality, we must try to respect and understand the beliefs of others, not out-quote them.  

Dear God: Help me to listen first, ask question second and allow my brain to engage before my mouth is opened.

“(People) are respectable only as they respect.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, American poet, lecturer and essayist (1803-1882)

© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship”  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.

The Meaning of Life

“Action without a name, a "who" attached to it, is meaningless.” ~Andrea Yerger

Abby looked on as her mother carefully sliced off each of the ends of the beef roast. The roast had been marinating most of the day and was now ready for the oven. Abby’s mother nestled the hefty piece of beef into a roasting pan. Plucking the two “ends” from the cutting board she carefully placed them, one on each side, of the roast. “Why do you do that?” Abigail asked. “Do what?” her mother responded, placing the lid on the roasting pan and popping the roaster into the oven.

“You always cut the ends off the roast and stick them on the sides. Why do you do that?” My mother, your Grandma, always did it that way?” she answered absent-mindedly.  “But why did she do it that way?” Abby persisted. “I don’t know,” her mother said finally. “Let’s ask her.”

Abby’s mother touched the screen of her Smartphone several times then placed it on the counter. The speaker magnified the sound of the ring; then a click sound. “Hello, Wilson residence.”

“Hi Mom,” Abby’s mother started to say, only to be drowned out by Abby, “HI GRANDMA!” she shouted. “Hi, honey,” replied the voice on the other end. “Grandma, we have a question. Why do you cut the ends off the roast?” There was a pause. “What do you mean, honey?” came the voice. “Mom, when you cooked a beef roast you always cut the ends off and put them on the sides before you put it in the oven… Why did you do that?”

Again there was a pause. “I don’t know exactly,” she replied finally. “My mother always did it that way.” “How can we find out?” asked Abby’s mother. “Well, we could drive up to the ‘home’ and ask Great Grandma Wilson. We’re overdue for a visit.” They all agreed to go that weekend. A departure time was arranged. Then Abby’s mother clicked off.

Sunday came and the three of them, Abby’s Mom behind the wheel, drove the 30 miles to a cozy sheltered living facility in the foothills of the Smokey Mountains. They parked in visitors’ parking and headed into the quaint main building.

They found Great Grandma Wilson seated in her wheel chair facing the expansive east window in the “green room.” The vista she looked out upon featured lush, wooded mountains, blue skies and puffy white clouds. She loved to sit in the sun, allowing the warmth to embrace her achy joints. Though physically bowed by age, her body wracked with arthritis, her mind was still clear as a bell.

Abby, was the first to reach her great grandma, with the other two women close behind. They all chattered their greetings almost simultaneously, asking and answering a variety of questions. Finally, they wheeled the old woman to a quiet corner. They seated themselves on a sofa, facing Great Grandma, in preparation for the question they had come to ask.

Abby’s mother leaned forward: “Grandmother,” she began. “We have a question.” “Well what is it?” replied Great Grandma. “At my age I don’t have many secrets left,” she chuckled.

“Grandmother,” she began again. “Do you remember, when you used to make your famous beef roast, how you cut the ends off?” “Of course I remember,” she answered. “And then you would take the ends and put them on the sides of the roast in the roaster?” “Yup, I remember,” she replied again, seemingly a little perplexed.

Abby’s mother leaned in even farther. “Why did you do that?” Abby, her mother and grandmother waited expectedly for Great Grandmother Wilson’s reply. “Why did I do that?” she echoed. “You drove all this way to ask why I cut the ends off the roast and put them on the sides of the roast in the pan?” The women nodded a response.

She mused for a moment. “OK, I’ll tell you,” Great Grandma replied thoughtfully. “But you have to promise not to tell anyone else.” They all nodded agreement. The old woman leaned forward and hushed her voice. “The reason I did that was a very good one.” They leaned closer as her voice got quieter. She looked around to make sure no one else could hear her. “The reason I did that was simple... The reason I did that,” (she paused for a very long time) “was because” (another long pause) “my roasting pan was too small.” A moment later they burst into laughter.

Activity without context is simply empty action. It is what some call “just going through the motions.” We automatically, sometimes robotically, go through our day – kissing our loved ones goodbye, greeting or thanking one another, performing various formalities and informalities without connecting those activities to something meaningful. 

Abby asked the right question: “Why do you do that?”

David, one of my Jewish friends, greets me by kissing me on the cheek. I once asked him why he did that. “I shake the hand of many I do not know or care about, even some I might consider enemies, but only a good friend would I kiss on the cheek,” was his response. 

(Note to self: as a practicing Catholic I make a lot of gestures in church – kneeling, bowing, crossing myself. Why do I do that? If I know why, should I not make those gestures as if I knew why?)

If it were the last time, would you say goodbye to your loved ones differently? It might be the last! If it were your last cup of coffee, would you thank the barista differently? It might be your last cup of coffee! When you greet your friends, if they really are your friends, and it were the last time, like David, would you greet them differently? It might be the last time!

Being good stewards of our time, it is important that we fill our lives with meaningful activity. This does not mean we should discontinue our current activities. In some cases, the roasting pan is too small and the ends of the roast do need to be cut off! What it does mean, is we need to discover for ourselves why we do the things we do and in turn behave as if we know why.

If I truly love someone, should I not behave as such when I greet them or when I say goodbye to them? By doing so, we will approach our lives with a new sincerity, realizing that our gestures need not, should not, be empty. If we fill our daily activities with meaning, the corresponding responses will no doubt surprise us.

Dear God: Remind me I am responsible for giving meaning to what I do.

“So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they’re busy doing things they think are important… The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others…” ~Morrie Schwartz (Sociology professor and author, subject of the book Tuesday’s with Morrie (1916-1995)

© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.

 “90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Director of Development for Southeast Ventura County YMCA.  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.