Civilly Convicted

“What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they   are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about   their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”  ~ Robert F. Kennedy, U.S. Attorney General and advisor (1925-1968)  My finger hovered over the enter key. With a single stroke I could send the offending “friend” away into “unfriended” oblivion. I paused.  The whole thing had started innocently enough with an obtuse religious slur camouflaged by a joke of sorts. I sent, what I thought was, a “diplomatic” clarifying response. “Just because I’m a Christian doesn’t mean I’m a member of any particular group,” I had commented.   The electronic “pile-on” started almost immediately. Like an electronic nightmare the terse one-liners came. The more I responded the more the comments flew back at me, the hostility and negative energy escalating.  Comments were coming from people I didn’t even know and who didn’t know me and yet I was being convicted for my convictions.  (My brand new piece of technology had promised me the ultimate in an electronic experience, an unbridled capacity to communicate. Unfortunately this was not the experience for which I had been looking.)  So there I sat, about to electronically remove someone from my life. Someone I had known for over thirty years. Would the instant gratification quickly give way to a mountain of regret? The blue box with white letters “REMOVE FROM FRIENDS?” glowed at me. “ARE YOU SURE…?” it asked. No, I wasn’t.  I quickly closed the site promising myself I wouldn’t return to it for awhile.  It seems we need to assure ourselves we have villains so that we might be heroes. But life isn’t so simple. I am not the demographic average of a particular group who shares one or more of my beliefs.  Dr Richard Mouw, in his book, Uncommon Decency, quotes Martin Marty: "One of the real problems in life is that the people who are good at being civil often lack strong convictions and people who have strong convictions often lack civility." Dr. Mouw suggests we need both a civil outlook and a "passionate intensity" about our convictions. What we need is a "convicted civility."  This is easy to proclaim and very difficult to do. To love and care about someone while they are ranting against a belief or beliefs we hold sacred is challenging. And yet, it is not our ability to convince another that what we believe is right. Rather it is our ability to affirm our convictions while remaining civil, kind and loving even to those who passionately (and even aggressively) disagree with us. This action will speak louder than our words.  The measure of who we are will not be taken by our ability to verbally wrestle another to the ground, or to “out-clever” them, or to “out-post” them. Rather, in the face of all things, we are called to love them. After all, isn’t that what Jesus did?  Dear God: Teach me convicted civility. “It takes a disciplined person to listen to convictions which are different from their own.” ~Dorothy Fuldheim, American journalist and anchor(1893-1989)   © 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.  “90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Stewardship Coordinator for Saint Monica Catholic Community in Santa Monica, California.  All rights are reserved.  You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” is included along with this message.  Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections.  If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper.  All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.