“In the practice of tolerance, one's enemy is the best teacher.” ~Dalai Lama (b.1935)
Horrified, I read the pamphlet a second time:
“Who are those who might be good citizens or church members who are in danger of going to hell?”
“Those whose religious affiliations deny Jesus as Personal Savior such as the Jews, the Muslims, the Jehovah’s Witnesses and the Mormons.”
“Those who are only trusting in their church or denomination membership such as Catholics, but who have not had a personal experience with Jesus.”
“Those who may live exemplary lives by giving generously and by living by the Golden Rule, but who do not acknowledge God, such as the atheist, the agnostic, the humanist, the materialist and the evolutionist.”
I put the pamphlet down on my desk rubbing my eyes and wondering, under these criteria, who wasn’t “in danger of going to hell”?
We have a lot of beliefs. We believe our political party is right. We believe our team will win the Super Bowl. We believe we got a good deal when we bought our last car.
But beliefs are inherently dangerous. Beliefs require justification, a rationale, or an explanation. There must be reasons; real or imagined. The “WHY?” is always the question. Beliefs operate, for the most part, on an intellectual plane.
Faith in action, on the other hand, requires no justification. In fact, by its very definition, faith operates well outside of the intellectual realm. It is something deep, intuitive and defies explanation. People of faith will often say, “I can’t explain it, I just know it.” In point of fact, it is not we who justify our faith; rather, we are justified by our faith.
When we encounter various belief systems: Christian, non-Christian, and even secular, we would do well to remember our disagreements tend to operate at the intellectual level. In other words it is out so called “belief systems” which are in conflict. Our justifications become arguments. If, however, we were to go deeper, to the level of faith, we find our noisy intellects tend to quiet down.
At the end of the Pope John Paul II exhibit at the Skirball Center (a Jewish cultural center) a listing of 22 versions of the “Golden Rule” (“Love your neighbor as yourself”) each from different faith traditions, was displayed. The totality of their wisdom can be said in two words: “love people”.
At the end of the day, regardless of our faith tradition, we are called to do one thing only: Love People. The rest is just polite conversation.
Dear God: Teach me to love people, regardless of their beliefs.
“You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche, German classical scholar, philosopher and cultural critic (1844-1900)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Friday, February 18, 2011
Scheduling Conflicts
“A life spent in constant labor is a life wasted, save a man be such a fool as to regard a fulsome obituary notice as ample reward.” ~George Jean Nathan, American drama critic and editor (1882-1958)
It had been one of those days when everyone seemed contentious. Constant interruptions prevented my getting any traction on my work projects and I kept finding small irritating mistakes. At 1:03 my boss called me from a meeting room where everyone was waiting…for me. My “Blackberry” indicated the meeting was at 3:00 not at 1:00. I left a colleague at the restaurant with cash to cover our lunches and rushed back to the office, reaching the meeting room by 1:15.
Upon arrival I was peppered with questions, the answers to which required the context of the conversation which had occurred before my arrival. The answers I gave were great; they just weren’t the answers to the questions they were asking. An hour and a half later I returned to the spot where I had hurriedly parked my car only to be greeted by a $60.00 parking ticket (street cleaning day).
The rest of my day went no better: coworkers were cranky, fellow staff members were uncooperative and none of the phone calls I received seemed to be things anyone else wanted to deal with. By 7:00 PM I decided to call it quits and go home. Traffic was heavier than usual and people seem ruder than usual. Or, was I just driving more aggressively than usual because of my mood?
I arrived home to find dinner waiting, as it always is, no matter how late I am. Still I sullenly stared at my plate, giving Teresa only single syllable responses to her friendly patter. Finishing dinner a little after 9:00 PM I trudged upstairs to bed. After my pre-bed ritual, I clicked off the light, said goodnight to my wife, pulled the blankets up to my chest and crossed my arms over top.
There I lay, staring holes into the darkness. It had been an awful day. Physically and emotionally spent, I was unable to sleep as my mind continued to whir, replaying the events of the day; only the bad ones of course.
Finally my thoughts slowly shifted to God and His apparent absence from my life. The usual thoughts banged about in my brain: Where’s God? Why isn’t He around when I need Him? Why does he seem so far away? What’s this stupid life of mine about anyway? I continued to “play the tapes” of my negative experiences over and over, wearing a groove in my head until my pessimistic litany put me to sleep. My last thought as I drifted off was: “God, please, just give me a hint.”
We live in troubling times. Though Wall Street is declaring victory those of us in the trenches still live in fear of our security, our livelihood and our jobs. The seemingly logical response is to overwork; to somehow justify ourselves by the level of effort we exert or the amount of hours we spend at work. Surely this will keep us safe and secure.
We must, however, learn to resist overwork. Aside from the fatigue and worry to which it leads it also damages our relationship with our family, our friends and our God. We chronic workaholics often wonder why our families and friends sometimes seem distant or why our lives seem out of sync with theirs. In point of fact building relationships takes time and effort. Time and effort we often expend on our jobs in our attempts to “build our careers”. How often do we find ourselves responding to a personal invitation with, “I can’t, I have to work.”
The same thing is true of our relationship with God. As I lay there that night, wondering where God had gone I neglected to realize God hadn’t gone anywhere. I had. God was there for me. It was my side of the relationship which had gone wanting. Just like the family and friends my work life had caused me to neglect and with which I had fallen out of sync, so had my relationship with God fallen out of sync.
Like my loving wife waiting for me at home, God is always there for us. The dinner is always on the table when we get there, but we need to make the effort, through being good stewards of our time, to constantly build our relationship with our God; To know Him as personally and intimately as we know (or should know) our family. Learn to distribute your life’s efforts and don’t worry…God’s already got you on his schedule.
Dear God: Teach me to be a good steward of my time on earth.
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” ~Bertrand Russell, American logician and philosopher (1872-1970)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
It had been one of those days when everyone seemed contentious. Constant interruptions prevented my getting any traction on my work projects and I kept finding small irritating mistakes. At 1:03 my boss called me from a meeting room where everyone was waiting…for me. My “Blackberry” indicated the meeting was at 3:00 not at 1:00. I left a colleague at the restaurant with cash to cover our lunches and rushed back to the office, reaching the meeting room by 1:15.
Upon arrival I was peppered with questions, the answers to which required the context of the conversation which had occurred before my arrival. The answers I gave were great; they just weren’t the answers to the questions they were asking. An hour and a half later I returned to the spot where I had hurriedly parked my car only to be greeted by a $60.00 parking ticket (street cleaning day).
The rest of my day went no better: coworkers were cranky, fellow staff members were uncooperative and none of the phone calls I received seemed to be things anyone else wanted to deal with. By 7:00 PM I decided to call it quits and go home. Traffic was heavier than usual and people seem ruder than usual. Or, was I just driving more aggressively than usual because of my mood?
I arrived home to find dinner waiting, as it always is, no matter how late I am. Still I sullenly stared at my plate, giving Teresa only single syllable responses to her friendly patter. Finishing dinner a little after 9:00 PM I trudged upstairs to bed. After my pre-bed ritual, I clicked off the light, said goodnight to my wife, pulled the blankets up to my chest and crossed my arms over top.
There I lay, staring holes into the darkness. It had been an awful day. Physically and emotionally spent, I was unable to sleep as my mind continued to whir, replaying the events of the day; only the bad ones of course.
Finally my thoughts slowly shifted to God and His apparent absence from my life. The usual thoughts banged about in my brain: Where’s God? Why isn’t He around when I need Him? Why does he seem so far away? What’s this stupid life of mine about anyway? I continued to “play the tapes” of my negative experiences over and over, wearing a groove in my head until my pessimistic litany put me to sleep. My last thought as I drifted off was: “God, please, just give me a hint.”
We live in troubling times. Though Wall Street is declaring victory those of us in the trenches still live in fear of our security, our livelihood and our jobs. The seemingly logical response is to overwork; to somehow justify ourselves by the level of effort we exert or the amount of hours we spend at work. Surely this will keep us safe and secure.
We must, however, learn to resist overwork. Aside from the fatigue and worry to which it leads it also damages our relationship with our family, our friends and our God. We chronic workaholics often wonder why our families and friends sometimes seem distant or why our lives seem out of sync with theirs. In point of fact building relationships takes time and effort. Time and effort we often expend on our jobs in our attempts to “build our careers”. How often do we find ourselves responding to a personal invitation with, “I can’t, I have to work.”
The same thing is true of our relationship with God. As I lay there that night, wondering where God had gone I neglected to realize God hadn’t gone anywhere. I had. God was there for me. It was my side of the relationship which had gone wanting. Just like the family and friends my work life had caused me to neglect and with which I had fallen out of sync, so had my relationship with God fallen out of sync.
Like my loving wife waiting for me at home, God is always there for us. The dinner is always on the table when we get there, but we need to make the effort, through being good stewards of our time, to constantly build our relationship with our God; To know Him as personally and intimately as we know (or should know) our family. Learn to distribute your life’s efforts and don’t worry…God’s already got you on his schedule.
Dear God: Teach me to be a good steward of my time on earth.
“One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important.” ~Bertrand Russell, American logician and philosopher (1872-1970)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Friday, February 11, 2011
My Way or...
"Effective listeners remember that words have no meaning - people have meaning." ~ Larry Barker, Investigative Reporter
Roman and I sat listening to the discussion. Listening is an acquired skill for me, and not one which comes naturally. We had come to this meeting with two agendas (one which was written down and another which was firmly planted in our heads). Now our ideas for a simple reception were evaporating like dry ice on hot asphalt.
In front of us sat five bright, creative individuals in their mid-twenties to early thirties. Watching a plan unfold in the midst of quality, respectful discussion can be exciting and energizing, provided you don’t feel the need to protect your agendas. It is like experiencing the creation of a jigsaw puzzle from scratch. Ideas, like puzzle pieces, play off one another. Some fit together, some do not. Some are set aside for later and some are simply cast aside. As the image or plan takes shape open spaces appear. Spaces which are later filled with supplemental ideas.
Such was Roman’s and my evening with the YMA Core Team (Young Ministering Adults). We had come to ask if the Team would do a reception in support of our Capital Campaign. We knew a wine and cheese gathering would not be appropriate for a “beer and pizza generation”, but our best intentions had missed the mark. We had tried to use, what a marketing friend of mine calls the “same girl, different dress” approach. No matter how you present it, a reception is a reception whether you serve champagne and caviar, wine and cheese, or beer and taco chips.
What this group envisioned was something more expansive and engaging. Rather than a reception they were going to hold a “Participation Celebration” at the end of an appropriate period of cultivation. There goal was to use our campaign initiative to reconnect their membership with the core values of our faith, with their ministry and with a sense of stewardship. Their rallying cries were simple: “Why do we belong” and “Why do we give back?”
When we departed that evening, it was not simply with a commitment to do a reception. Rather, we left with a commitment to a three and a half month plan of engagement and preparation; a plan, not simply to raise a few bucks; but a plan, which would deepen their membership’s spirituality in the process.
“What do you think,” Roman asked as we returned to our offices. “How could I say no?” I replied with a smile.
As Christian Stewards we are not simply the caretakers of our own gifts of time, talent and treasure. We are also called to nurture and interface with the gifts of others. Unfortunately we live in a world which often values speed of execution at the expense of quality and engagement. As a result many of us find ourselves driven to get to the quickest conclusion rather than engaging in the evolutionary process required to reach the best solution.
In an effort to reach a quick result we burden ourselves with the assumption that we need to be the one with the right answers or the best solutions. This is true even when we are surrounded by people who share our desire for a successful completion; people with a variety of gifts and perspectives.
The result is we become protectionists rather than facilitators. We choose to wrestle others to the ground verbally to win the day for our point of view, rather than selecting and incorporating all the good ideas others have to offer; allowing a final product to evolve.
Does this mean formulating a plan is easy within a group? No, quite the contrary; the single decision maker will always be more efficient than a group, but will they be more affective? Coming to a group conclusion, in which all feel engaged and empowered can be frustrating, time consuming and even a little annoying. The results however are usually better, often richer, multi-faceted and the resulting buy-in means you have a room full of advocates when the implementation starts.
We are called to use our gifts of time and talent, but we are also called to respect, nurture, and affirm the gifts of others. Our mission in life is to help save the world. But God never said we had to do it alone.
Dear God: Help me be a better steward of the gifts of others.
"An essential part of true listening is…the temporary giving up or setting aside of one's own prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience…the speaker's world from the inside…” ~M. Scott Peck, MD, American psychiatrist and best-selling author (1936-2005)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Roman and I sat listening to the discussion. Listening is an acquired skill for me, and not one which comes naturally. We had come to this meeting with two agendas (one which was written down and another which was firmly planted in our heads). Now our ideas for a simple reception were evaporating like dry ice on hot asphalt.
In front of us sat five bright, creative individuals in their mid-twenties to early thirties. Watching a plan unfold in the midst of quality, respectful discussion can be exciting and energizing, provided you don’t feel the need to protect your agendas. It is like experiencing the creation of a jigsaw puzzle from scratch. Ideas, like puzzle pieces, play off one another. Some fit together, some do not. Some are set aside for later and some are simply cast aside. As the image or plan takes shape open spaces appear. Spaces which are later filled with supplemental ideas.
Such was Roman’s and my evening with the YMA Core Team (Young Ministering Adults). We had come to ask if the Team would do a reception in support of our Capital Campaign. We knew a wine and cheese gathering would not be appropriate for a “beer and pizza generation”, but our best intentions had missed the mark. We had tried to use, what a marketing friend of mine calls the “same girl, different dress” approach. No matter how you present it, a reception is a reception whether you serve champagne and caviar, wine and cheese, or beer and taco chips.
What this group envisioned was something more expansive and engaging. Rather than a reception they were going to hold a “Participation Celebration” at the end of an appropriate period of cultivation. There goal was to use our campaign initiative to reconnect their membership with the core values of our faith, with their ministry and with a sense of stewardship. Their rallying cries were simple: “Why do we belong” and “Why do we give back?”
When we departed that evening, it was not simply with a commitment to do a reception. Rather, we left with a commitment to a three and a half month plan of engagement and preparation; a plan, not simply to raise a few bucks; but a plan, which would deepen their membership’s spirituality in the process.
“What do you think,” Roman asked as we returned to our offices. “How could I say no?” I replied with a smile.
As Christian Stewards we are not simply the caretakers of our own gifts of time, talent and treasure. We are also called to nurture and interface with the gifts of others. Unfortunately we live in a world which often values speed of execution at the expense of quality and engagement. As a result many of us find ourselves driven to get to the quickest conclusion rather than engaging in the evolutionary process required to reach the best solution.
In an effort to reach a quick result we burden ourselves with the assumption that we need to be the one with the right answers or the best solutions. This is true even when we are surrounded by people who share our desire for a successful completion; people with a variety of gifts and perspectives.
The result is we become protectionists rather than facilitators. We choose to wrestle others to the ground verbally to win the day for our point of view, rather than selecting and incorporating all the good ideas others have to offer; allowing a final product to evolve.
Does this mean formulating a plan is easy within a group? No, quite the contrary; the single decision maker will always be more efficient than a group, but will they be more affective? Coming to a group conclusion, in which all feel engaged and empowered can be frustrating, time consuming and even a little annoying. The results however are usually better, often richer, multi-faceted and the resulting buy-in means you have a room full of advocates when the implementation starts.
We are called to use our gifts of time and talent, but we are also called to respect, nurture, and affirm the gifts of others. Our mission in life is to help save the world. But God never said we had to do it alone.
Dear God: Help me be a better steward of the gifts of others.
"An essential part of true listening is…the temporary giving up or setting aside of one's own prejudices, frames of reference and desires so as to experience…the speaker's world from the inside…” ~M. Scott Peck, MD, American psychiatrist and best-selling author (1936-2005)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Pray as You Go
“The time of business does not with me differ from the time of prayer; and in the noise and clatter…I possess God in as great a tranquility as if I were upon my knees...” ~Brother Lawrence, born Nicolas Herman, French Carmelite monk (1614-1691)
The spiritual based personal finance class was filled to overflowing. Couples, singles, even moms bringing their adult children, had come to wrestle with the issues of a bad economy and some bad financial decisions along the way. The parish center living room was large by living room standards, but not large enough for this group.
Even so, we found room somehow. Using a combination of portable chairs and clever manipulation of the seating arrangement we managed to fit everyone in, with a little space left for a single aisle.
It was Thursday evening and I stopped by the living room to check in with our coordinators Deborah and Daniel. Deborah, a cradle Catholic and Daniel, a Baptist, made for an interesting teaching combination. Both were always infectiously enthusiastic and thoroughly prepared.
Peering in through the open door I saw Deborah busily doing makeup work with a couple who had missed class the week before. Daniel was carefully and methodically placing each chair into the customized arrangement.
Not wanting to disturb them, I left for an evening meeting, deciding to check back by email the next morning. The thought of Daniel putting out all those chairs by himself bothered me, however. We have staff that does this sort of thing.
The next day Deborah sent me her usual Friday morning update. I responded in kind, complementing them on the wonderful job they were doing and giving them a status on the class kits we had ordered. “Daniel doesn’t need to set up the chairs.” I concluded. “Our maintenance people can do that for you.”
Within the hour I had a response from Deb covering some additional details. The email ended with a simple statement: “Thank you for the offer, but Daniel would like to continue to put the chairs out himself. As he puts each chair in place he says a prayer for the person who will be seated there that evening.”
Most of us envision prayer as a formality; something which is only done at specific times, in particular situations or under certain circumstances. We are accustomed to invocations at large events, or saying grace before a meal, or the prayers we say at Sunday services. Otherwise, prayer is pretty much excluded from our daily, “real world” lives, relegated to the back waters of our spirituality.
There are many reasons for this. We are afraid what people might think if they “caught us” praying. Or, grasping for every second we can spare, we see prayer as too time consuming. Perhaps regular prayer was simply never suggested to us, never occurred to us, or we never thought we had license to pray outside of church.
Whether we realize it or not, prayer is an important part of our daily life. It connects the sacred with our otherwise secular world. It infuses God into our daily lives. It sanctifies our day.
It also connects us to the lives of others for whom we pray. Daniel connected himself to every member of the class by praying for them. This undoubtedly had an affect upon the way he taught them and his relationship with them.
Often, we hoard our gift of time thinking we have to carve out blocks of it to give to God. This is not necessarily so. Daniel, by praying as he set out chairs, was multi-tasking in a very special way. His gift of prayer was doled out over time, not in blocks, but in continuous precious pieces.
God calls us to pray constantly, not just when we are in church; but when we are driving to work, cutting the lawn or even setting out chairs.
Pray as you go!
Dear God: teach me to pray all through the day.
“Accustom yourself gradually to carry prayer into all your daily occupation - speak, act, work in peace, as if you were in prayer, as indeed you ought to be.” ~François Fénelon, French Roman Catholic archbishop, theologian, poet, and writer (1651-1715)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
The spiritual based personal finance class was filled to overflowing. Couples, singles, even moms bringing their adult children, had come to wrestle with the issues of a bad economy and some bad financial decisions along the way. The parish center living room was large by living room standards, but not large enough for this group.
Even so, we found room somehow. Using a combination of portable chairs and clever manipulation of the seating arrangement we managed to fit everyone in, with a little space left for a single aisle.
It was Thursday evening and I stopped by the living room to check in with our coordinators Deborah and Daniel. Deborah, a cradle Catholic and Daniel, a Baptist, made for an interesting teaching combination. Both were always infectiously enthusiastic and thoroughly prepared.
Peering in through the open door I saw Deborah busily doing makeup work with a couple who had missed class the week before. Daniel was carefully and methodically placing each chair into the customized arrangement.
Not wanting to disturb them, I left for an evening meeting, deciding to check back by email the next morning. The thought of Daniel putting out all those chairs by himself bothered me, however. We have staff that does this sort of thing.
The next day Deborah sent me her usual Friday morning update. I responded in kind, complementing them on the wonderful job they were doing and giving them a status on the class kits we had ordered. “Daniel doesn’t need to set up the chairs.” I concluded. “Our maintenance people can do that for you.”
Within the hour I had a response from Deb covering some additional details. The email ended with a simple statement: “Thank you for the offer, but Daniel would like to continue to put the chairs out himself. As he puts each chair in place he says a prayer for the person who will be seated there that evening.”
Most of us envision prayer as a formality; something which is only done at specific times, in particular situations or under certain circumstances. We are accustomed to invocations at large events, or saying grace before a meal, or the prayers we say at Sunday services. Otherwise, prayer is pretty much excluded from our daily, “real world” lives, relegated to the back waters of our spirituality.
There are many reasons for this. We are afraid what people might think if they “caught us” praying. Or, grasping for every second we can spare, we see prayer as too time consuming. Perhaps regular prayer was simply never suggested to us, never occurred to us, or we never thought we had license to pray outside of church.
Whether we realize it or not, prayer is an important part of our daily life. It connects the sacred with our otherwise secular world. It infuses God into our daily lives. It sanctifies our day.
It also connects us to the lives of others for whom we pray. Daniel connected himself to every member of the class by praying for them. This undoubtedly had an affect upon the way he taught them and his relationship with them.
Often, we hoard our gift of time thinking we have to carve out blocks of it to give to God. This is not necessarily so. Daniel, by praying as he set out chairs, was multi-tasking in a very special way. His gift of prayer was doled out over time, not in blocks, but in continuous precious pieces.
God calls us to pray constantly, not just when we are in church; but when we are driving to work, cutting the lawn or even setting out chairs.
Pray as you go!
Dear God: teach me to pray all through the day.
“Accustom yourself gradually to carry prayer into all your daily occupation - speak, act, work in peace, as if you were in prayer, as indeed you ought to be.” ~François Fénelon, French Roman Catholic archbishop, theologian, poet, and writer (1651-1715)
© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.
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