Give till it Feels Good

“Generosity consists, not of the sum given, but the manner in which it is bestowed.” ~Author unknown

After thirty years as a systems manager Harry Nix had been laid off. Whether it was because jobs were going to other countries or because replacements could be hired at entry level salaries it didn’t much matter. Regardless of the reason, at 63, Harry found himself in a nether world between pension, savings, social security and unemployment. In short, even if he qualified for it, it wasn’t enough. The necessary forms and mailings of his new unemplyed life required Harry make trips to the post office more often than he liked. So to save gas, he usually walked.

Outside the post office, Harry frequently crossed paths with a homeless man who loitered near the front of the building. Whenever, he encountered the man, though personally not in the best of financial conditions himself, Harry made it a habit of giving him whatever change he had in his pocket. They even, at times, engaged in brief conversations. Or, at the very least, “hello” and “how are you”.

On this particular day Harry had walked to the post office to mail a government form which required “proof of mail”. As he entered he noticed his homeless friend wasn’t around. Inside the line was long and there were only two postal clerks on duty. After twenty seven minutes Harry finally stepped to the counter, transacted his business and, with receipt in hand, headed out the door.

As he stepped out of the gloomy government building into the bright morning sunlight he stopped a moment to allow his eyes to adjust. As they did he noticed a homeless person (not the one with which he was acquainted) resting on the wall that encompassed the terrace surrounding the front of the building.

She had stringy blonde hair and wore what appeared to be men’s clothes. At her side sat a battered pullman suitcase and a backpack. Here most notable feature was that she was noticeably pregnant; third trimester no doubt. As Harry walked by her she muttered, “Hey Mister, got any change.” Instinctively he dug into his pocket. Glancing around, his friend was nowhere in sight. So Harry gave here all the coins in his pocket. “Thanks mister,” the woman muttered staring at the ground.

Harry turned and headed north on Fifth Street. Within a block he noticed his homeless friend shuffling down the street toward him. When they met Harry looked sadly at the man for a moment. “I’m sorry,” he began. “I gave all the change I had to a pregnant homeless woman outside the post office. “Ah, that’s OK,” the man said with a shrug. “I gave her all of mine too.”

Most of us tend to quantify our donations of time, talent and treasure. We speak in terms of our hours of service or the amount of money we donate. This type of quantitative thinking leads to the inevitable question: “How much should I donate?”

This well meaning question, one which most of us have asked ourselves, or posed to someone else, can lead us in a wrong direction. Gifts of time, talent or treasure are, above all, gifts of self. Only insomuch as we share these gifts from God can we participate in the life of the world and in our faith.

The question then is not, “How much do I give?” Rather, the question is “How deeply do I participate in life.” In this way, what we share ceases to arise out of a sense of obligation and thereby a need to be quantified. Rather, sharing our time, talent and treasure becomes a concrete expression of our gift of self.

The small amounts of change given by Harry and the homeless man were inconsequential in and of themselves, but they were tremendous gifts of “self.” In contrast, a large monetary gift, given from our surplus wealth, may not be a measure of our generosity, but of our capacity to give. It doesn’t make us any more participative in life and thereby doesn’t add to our spiritual growth.

So, don’t ask, “How much should I give to the church?” Ask, “How deeply am I participating in life?”

Dear God, make me fully participative.

“Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can.” ~John Wesley, English evangelist, founder of Methodism (1703-1791)

© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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