Puzzled

“Often our life is like putting a puzzle together without the lid to the box.” ~Deacon Brian Clements, Catholic Deacon and counselor, Archdiocese of Los Angeles

We sat at a folding card table in the middle of our living room. It had a padded green vinyl top and gun metal gray legs. Next to me sat my sister Bonnie and directly across from me my sister Linda. Spread across the table was the 1,000-plus puzzle pieces of an octagonal shaped jigsaw puzzle. The puzzle box lid was strategically placed where we all could see it, for easy reference. The lid depicted three white cats on a dark blue field.

At first we thought this would be a “piece of cake” compared to the multi-colored landscape or waterscape paintings of sunsets and the like we had worked on before. Our miscalculation was that large patches of similar colors provided few hints as to how the thing fit together. As was our custom, we started by sorting the pieces by color. Next we assembled the frame or outside edge of puzzle. Having completed those two steps we were now faced with the gaping void in the middle.

My strategy was to find puzzle pieces with the bits of dark blue and white which made up the boundary where the cats’ image met the background. And for a time, it seemed to be working. Then I came to an impasse. Two pieces, which appeared to be part of a paw, had fit together seamlessly.

Holding them over the puzzle I carefully moved them about over the surface comparing the color contrasts to portions of the already assembled puzzle. Occasionally I would attempt to fit them into a spot, with no luck. Fruitlessly, I searched for the location of the two pieces. Finding none, I set them aside and began fitting in other parts of the puzzle.

After a time, I returned to the pair of pieces and resumed the search for a fit. Frustrated by the process, they were set aside once more. Another round of matching blues to blues and whites to whites till a third time I picked up the two connected pieces determined, this time, to find their location. I became so frustrated I attempted to fit them into spots that I had previously tried, thinking somehow things had changed or that I must have missed something. Finally, defeated, I sighed with exasperation.

Bonnie had been patiently assembling a different portion of the puzzle. She looked up when she heard my sigh of frustration. “What’s wrong Jimmie?” she asked. “These two stupid paw pieces won’t fit anywhere,” I whined. “Let’s see,” she said, taking them carefully into her hands.

Calmly she surveyed the partially assembled puzzle, the box lid and the puzzle pieces in her hand, slowly turning them this way and that. Finally, her eyes brightened. “They’re not part of the paws, they’re part of the ears,” she said triumphantly, slipping them easily into position near the top of the puzzle.

My former Spiritual Director was fond of saying, “God’s plan B is always better than my plan A.” My question was, “How do you know when you are working God’s plan and not your own?” “You just know,” he replied.

There are times in my life I have felt like a windup toy in a corner, reversing direction every time I bumped into a wall, only to turn and bump into another. Chasing success up a blind alley always leaves us at a dead end. “We spend our lives climbing ladders only to find there is nothing up there” (Thomas Merton).

Why does this happen? Often, like my two puzzle pieces, we mistake ears for paws. We decide what we are, what we want to be and what gifts we think we possess. Having determined what we think will make us feel successful; we proceed based upon those assumptions. In other words, we decide we are paws, even though we are really ears.

However, what we deem successful and what God intends for us are sometimes divergent paths. We head off in a promising direction only to find ourselves frustrated because things don’t fit where we think they should. More importantly, we don’t fit where we think we should.

How do we know when we are working God’s plan? It is not unlike my sister and the puzzle. First, we must trust that God has a plan for us. We are a part of His plan; part of a much bigger picture. In other words, like a puzzle piece, we have to trust that we fit into the plan. This is one of the reasons staunch individualism is so dangerous. It denies our potential contribution to the greater whole; the greater good.

Second, we cannot rush the result. Our life takes time. Our life unfolds before us; it is not created by us. Much as we would like it to be results-oriented, it is not (at least not our own results). If we do manage to manufacture the results we want, either they will not be satisfying, or they will dissipate quickly. Ever wonder why, when we get something we thought we really wanted, we still feel empty and unsatisfied?

Third, we have to do the footwork. Life is not about waiting around for God to give us insight. It is very much about OJT (on the job training). Bonnie took the time to look at the pieces in different ways; she viewed the entire puzzle (in its incompleteness), not just the section she was working on.

Next, she looked at the box lid to see what the image should be, not what she wanted it to be. When she finally made an attempt, the result came easily. It was not the result I was looking for, but the result which was supposed to happen within the context of “the bigger picture.”

There will be times in our lives when life seems unfair or out of sync. The job we thought was perfect for us goes to someone else. Our relationships seem contentious for no apparent reason. Things we thought would make us happy just don’t. But there is a “sweet spot” in our lives. How do we know when our life is headed in the right direction? When you are working God’s plan, you just know.

Dear God: Just point me in the right direction today…please.

“Life consists, not in holding good cards, but in playing those you hold well.” ~ Josh Billings, nom de plume of Henry Wheeler Shaw, American humorist and lecturer (1818-1885)

© 2011 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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