Surrender

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second is acceptance.”  ~Nathaniel Branden, Canadian psychotherapist and writer (b 1930)

John woke up Monday morning and realized he no longer had a job. He had been laid off two weeks earlier, but this was the first day he had truly grasped his situation.

Mechanically he reached out and hit the snooze button, but try as he might he could not “snooze.” It was 6:00 am, the time John normally arose to get ready for work. His internal clock was resistant to any other schedule. Finally, he sat up.

Sitting on the edge of the bed for what seemed like a very long time, his hands splayed over the edge of the mattress, John contemplated his situation. What was he going to do?

He had worked for the same company for years. “I really don’t know anything else,” he thought to himself. They had enough money to get along for a while; but then what? Finally, he slipped into his flip-flops and shuffled downstairs.

Diana, his wife of 22 years, had already left for work. On the counter was a pot of fresh coffee and a hand-written note: “Love you, see you tonight.” John poured himself a cup and stood there sipping it, pondering the note. “How could she love an unemployed man?” His thoughts stung him, even before he finished them.

He took his cup of coffee to the kitchen table and slumped into his usual chair. Staring at the flowered table cloth he pondered his fate. He had never been without a job. How could he face anyone ever again? In his mind, he had just become a statistic.

As he was sitting there staring, first at his hands and then at his coffee, his eyes fell upon his wife’s well-worn prayer book. John had never much liked religion. He thought it a huge waste of time. His Sundays were more productively spent playing golf with clients or the boss, or getting chores done around the house.

Diane had patiently encouraged him to come to church with her, but he only begrudgingly went on Christmas Eve and Easter Sunday. “I’m a CEO,” he used to say; “Christmas and Easter only.”

Now he had plenty of time, for anything, even God. He picked up the book and carefully examined the cover. Flipping through the pages he noticed Diana had marked various passages. “Wonder what she thought was so important.” Suddenly he closed the book and tossed it onto the table and started to get up. “I have better things to do right now, like look for a job,” he thought.

From deep within him came a quiet little voice. “Better things to do? Who looks for a job at 6:30 am? What are you really afraid of?”

John reached out tentatively and picked up the prayer book a second time. This time he actually opened it to a page somewhere in the middle of the book. His eyes stopped on a line covered with bright yellow highlighter.

“I am with you always until the end of time” it read. “Hope that’s true,” he thought.

“Surrender” is not a word most people find appealing. It evokes thoughts of giving up and giving in. It is a word for losers, because winners would never surrender. Ever! Only wimps surrender. And yet, within the Christian consciousness surrender can be a path to personal peace, happiness and enlightenment.

Case in point, “personal image management” is a difficult and time-consuming pastime in which many of us participate. We try to affix the “who we are” to some firm foundation, whether it is a career, a title or past successes in our lives. The problem is that none of those things are ever truly “firm”.

Many of us define “who we are” by our careers. If you ever want to test this idea ask someone: What do you do? More often than not they will respond with their job title, rather than an explanation. If our sense of self is tied to a job, and the job goes away, we experience the angst and disillusionment John experienced.

How can surrender help us? How can we find joy and serenity by just giving up?

Part of the answer is that “surrender” has several meanings. They are both subtle and beneficial meanings other than simply giving up. To surrender something can mean giving up the unnecessary things in our lives, like surrendering our weapons (our defense mechanisms). Perhaps the most significant meaning of surrender is to give ourselves to something, wholeheartedly, and without reservation.

The season of Lent is a time of surrender. It is a time to give up the false images of “who we are” in favor of “who we really are”, a time to stop relying on power, prestige or position to define what we are and a time to give ourselves over to our Lord and Creator. Lent calls us to surrender to Christ. He will always be with us - even until the end of time.

“Change is the essence of life. Be willing to surrender what you are to what you could become.”  ~Author unknown

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.