Running on Empty

“Carpe Diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day; live life to the fullest; make the most of what you have. It is later than you think.” ~Horace, Ancient Roman Poet (65 – 8BC)

It was early Thursday morning and I was sitting at my desk staring at the screen of my laptop. I wasn’t reading anything or even seeing what was on the screen. I was just staring.

Three days into the work week and I was already physically, mentally and emotionally spent. Why was I so tired? It wasn’t as if anything major had gone wrong. So what had brought me to this moment of “burned out” inactivity?

It had been the accumulation of many irritations, misfires, grievances, resentments and setbacks. “It’s the ants that getcha, not the elephants,” a friend of mine used to say. Well the ants were having their way with me this week. I had been staked to the ant hill and smeared with honey.

I leaned back in my chair, arms crossed, eyes closed, wondering what to do about this stress-induced log jam of inactivity. My thoughts drifted back to a meditation class I had taken.

“It’s not the work, it’s the worry,” the instructor had said. “We spend so much time thinking about how much we have to do that we don’t do anything.”  The answer to the problem is to simply do something, start something, just put one foot in front of the other.

My eyes started to refocus on the screen. I leaned forward and began to tap away slowly at the keys. There was a letter which needed to go out in the morning mail.

There is an oft-told tale about a journalist who went to visit a famous Zen master. While the master quietly served tea, the journalist talked about Zen. The master poured the visitor's cup to the brim, and then kept pouring. The man watched the overflowing cup with surprise. “Stop, It's overfull!” He blurted out. Calmly the master put down the pot. “You are like this cup,” the master replied, “How can I explain Zen to you unless you first empty your cup.”

The problem many of us experience in life is not that we “run on empty.” In point of fact, most of us “run on full” or overfull. We fill ourselves with worrying about what we need to do while at the same time trying to focus on what we are currently doing. 

Most of us have a bad case of the “Igotta’s”: I’ve gotta get this done and I’ve gotta get that done. By mentally and emotionally carrying around all the things we think are important and that we need to get done, we impair our emotional resilience. Minor inconveniences become major catastrophes because they put us “off schedule.”

Running on full also means having no room for anything or anyone else. When our lives become a laundry list of unnecessary things that we believe are necessary – things which must be done – we often miss the really important moments: the chance meeting with a friend, a meaningful conversation with a loved one, or even an encounter with our Creator.

Many of us see our Lenten practices as a throw-back to a bygone era without any practical application to today’s modern world. “What are you giving up for Lent?” we ask, expecting a clever answer in response. And yet, most of us desperately need to give some things up, before we just give up completely.

Lent, gives us the opportunity to empty ourselves; to make space for more important things.  What if, for example, we gave up technology one day a week and spent the time with loved ones like our children?  What if we spent one night a week with our spouse without television? What if we set aside quiet time in the morning for prayer or just quiet meditation?

When we empty ourselves, we give ourselves room for the important things: love, compassion, concern, and room for a loving God. This helps us regain the emotional resilience we all need.

My exhaustion that Thursday morning was not due to a lack of stamina (of figuratively running out of gas). Rather, my exhaustion arose out of my trying to manage everything at once; to be responsible for everything at once, to do everything at once.

This Lenten season, I plan on doing my best to try “running on empty” and I am inviting you along for the ride. Together, I’m sure we will find we can go a lot farther than we thought. 

Dear God: Help me remove the clutter of my life.

“Lent is the time to make new efforts to be what we say we want to be.”  ~from Sister Joan Chittister's book, The Rule of Benedict: Insight for the Ages

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by James E. Carper, Director of Development, Southeast Ventura County YMCA; Thousand Oaks, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.”