Just Drop It!

“Hanging onto a resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head” ~Ann Landers, American Advice columnist (1918-2002)

It was all just so stupid and unnecessary. I wasn’t even paying attention. The big, black Escalade came across in front of me so quickly that I impulsive laid on the horn. In a flash the driver of the Escalade slammed on his brakes and started waving his middle index finger at me. I knew he wasn’t telling me I was “number 1.” Veering to the right onto the shoulder, simultaneously slamming on the brakes I barely missed his right rear fender as I skidded onto the shoulder.

The Escalade accelerated away. I jerked the wheel to the left pulling my car back onto the highway and took off after him. Soon I was gaining on the Escalade though I had no idea what I would do if and when I caught up to him. I was closing and would be on top of him in moments.

Then, without any indication, the heavy SUV swerved right and rocketed down an exit ramp as I shot helplessly by. The last thing I saw was the driver once again indicating I was “number 1” laughing as he did so.

Most of us probably have a similar story. The question is how much of the rest of the day did I allow my highway opponent to occupy. In my case, I gave up most of the day telling and retelling the story of the “jerk who nearly wrecked my car.”

When I wasn’t sharing my misery with others, I was busy replaying the incident over and over in my head imagining the things I might have done or should have done. In effect, I did little, other than to wear a groove in my brain assuring the incident would not be soon forgotten.

There are tribesmen in Africa who have made an art out of trapping monkeys. A heavy cage with narrow bars is filled with bananas and placed in an area frequented by the unsuspecting creatures. Inevitably at least one monkey will discover the cage and stick his hand through the narrow bars.

Once the creature clutches a banana in his paw however he is unable to retract it from the cage. Sadly, all the animal needs to do is drop the banana and run away, but instead they allow themselves to be captured rather than just let go.

We are called to be good stewards of our time. Unfortunately we often misuse or give that time away unnecessarily because we just can’t seem to let go of things. Certainly I had a right to be surprised or startled by the incident with the driver of the Escalade. Unfortunately, I gave away the rest of the day resenting him and trying to justify myself – not a good use of the time God had given me.

It is not always easy to make good use of the time God gives us each day. Our egos mislead us into believing we are always right and we go looking for vindication. So we try to place blame or seek retribution for the situations in which we find ourselves, rather than seek positive solutions.

Life is meant to be lived joyously and well. Unfortunately, it is all too easy to spend the time God has given us unproductively dragging around the problems, resentments, and issues of the past; instead we can simply “drop the banana.”

Dear Lord: Remind me there are times I need to let go of things.

“Resentment or grudges do no harm to the person against whom you hold these feelings but every day and every night, they are eating at you.” ~Norman Vincent Peale, American Clergyman and Writer (1898-1993)

©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper of Simi Valley, California. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.