“When you can stop you
don't want to, and when you want to stop, you can't...”
~Luke Davies, Australian novelist, poet and screenwriter (b1962) from his novel Candy
Adam liked to stop
after work for a beer with his buddies from the marketing department. Lately he
was noticing he was always the last one to leave. Sometimes he would order a
shot of whiskey just to “brace himself” for the drive home. His wife had been
complaining about how late he arrived home. His excuse was always the same: “It
was work related!”~Luke Davies, Australian novelist, poet and screenwriter (b1962) from his novel Candy
Esther loved to go
shopping. She couldn’t resist a bargain and, after all, look how much money she
was saving. It didn’t matter that the clothes she bought often hung in the
closet for months untouched with the labels still on or that the products she purchased
went unused and unreturned. Lately she had started getting second and third
notices on her credit card bills, but it didn’t matter, even with the penalty fees
she was still saving money, wasn’t she?
Bob was always the
first one to arrive at and the last one to leave work. He figured as long as
the boss saw him there, his job was secure. With all the layoffs he couldn’t
afford to lose his job so he hung out till the bitter end every day, even when
he didn’t have anything to do. “Outa sight out of a job,” he would joke. That’s
why Bob could not understand when his boss asked him why he always seemed to be
around and recommended he attend a time management workshop.
Alice did not like
to talk to people. It was so much easier to text them. She could think about
things, use cool abbreviations and say whatever she wanted. This way Alice
never felt awkward or stupid. There was a really cute boy in her class she
wanted to meet. One day she was able to coerce her neighbor Emily into giving
her the boy’s electronic address. Alice took a provocative picture of herself
and sent it to the boy. The next day, when she arrived at school, she was
immediately taken to the principal’s office and her phone confiscated. The boy
had sent the picture to all her classmates.
Though we live in a first world country in arguably the best
possible time in history, life can often be difficult. Whether it be global
warming, the questionable economy, an uncertain job market or just getting
through the day with “all we have to do,” our lives can quickly fill with
anxiety and fear.
Some of us have healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise,
a spiritual program, structured personal time or hobbies, to name only a few.
But for those with addictive personalities and no “program” in place, certain
unhealthy behaviors (spiritual, mental, physical and emotional) begin to
manifest themselves. Unfortunately the word “addict” conjures images of an
unconscious wino in the gutter or a wild eyed junkie shooting up or puffing on
a crack pipe in some back alley.
But addicts can also be the successful business person who
has to have his two-martini lunch at the finest restaurant, or the employee who
is constantly at work because she is afraid of losing her job; or even the
family member who can never seem to step away from the computer or Smartphone
long enough to have dinner with the family or even engage in a conversation.
Modern society has left many of us with a “hole in our soul.”
It is a hole created by fear, anxiety and a sense of inadequacy. Unfortunately,
for some of us, relief seems to evade us, while the fear and anxiety continue
to grow.
Perhaps we try to fill the “hole” with property and
possessions. Shopping becomes more than “retail therapy.” Sometimes drugs and
alcohol dull the pain, the fear and the inevitable guilt. But these provide
only temporary relief, followed by more fear, anxiety and shame and a renewed
downward plunge toward the darkness.
The addictions are not the problem, however. They are simply
the ill-advised solutions to the real problem – the “hole in the soul,” a hole
which we can never fill by our own devices.
Addicts of all kinds will tell you truthfully that they want
to stop, and they may be able to do so for a short time, by sheer force of
will, only to subsequently return to their former way of life. Recovery is not
simply about eliminating the addictive behavior, but about replacing it with something
better – a healthy spiritually.
Recovery programs are successful, not because they stop the
addictive behavior, but because of the spiritual program which replaces that
behavior. There is a message here for all of us.
As stewards of our time, we are called to engage in
spiritually-healing activities – activities which close the hole in our soul.
If you don’t stand for something, if you don’t have a spiritual program, you
will fall for anything and quite possibly in the form of an addiction.
Dear God: Help me to fill the holes in my life with your
love.
“You've got to stand for
something or you're gonna fall for
anything” ~ John Cougar Mellencamp, American rock singer-songwriter,
musician, painter and occasional actor (b1951)
©2012 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in
a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James
E. Carper of 
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