Guardian Policy

“A smile is the light in your window that tells others that there is a caring, sharing person inside.” ~Denis Waitley, American psychologist, author, lecturer and counselor (b1933)

Esmerelda loved going to school. Her favorite subject was numbers. She loved the way Ms. Mendoza taught her how to write numbers. It seemed like she was singing: “Make a three and close the gate. This is how we make an eight” Ms Mendoza would say.

The other thing she liked about school was that she felt safe there. The teachers and even the big kids went out of their way to make sure she was safe. It wasn’t like that anywhere else; even at home.

One night she was awakened by something that sounded like firecrackers; pop, pop, pop they went. Her aunt came running into the room. She lived with her aunt because she wasn’t sure where her mom was. Her aunt looked really scared. 

“We’re going to sleep on the floor, Esme,” she said nervously. “Why can’t I sleep in my bed?” Esmerelda whined. “Because I say so,” her aunt replied, her voice quavering.

They spent the rest of the night sleeping on the floor. Every so often she was awakened by the funny “pop, pop, pop” sounds. Once she heard glass break across the street and someone yelling.

Finally it was morning. Time to go to school, where she knew she was safe.

This particular morning her aunt was in a hurry. She dropped her off across the street. Esmerelda didn’t like crossing the street by herself. People were crazy and drove really fast. But today Mr. Carter was there. He was a big friendly man who always seemed to be laughing. 

Mr. Carter strode across the street to where Esmerelda stood. “Good morning, Esmerelda,” he announced loudly. “Can I help you across the street?” Esme nodded and grabbed his hand. “What do you do?” she asked innocently. “I’m the Crossing Guard,” Mr. Carter replied with a flourish. 

By now they had reached the other side of the street. Esme stared at Mr. Carter for a moment. “Does that mean you’re my guardian?” she asked seriously. The question caught Mr. Carter off-guard for a moment. He knelt down and looked thoughtfully into Esmerelda’s liquid blue eyes. “Yes, I suppose it does…for today anyway.” “Good!” she replied and headed off to class.

One of the great and often quoted statements is “Am I my brother’s keeper?” The short answer is an emphatic “YES!” We hear a lot these days about “no bullying policies”, “zero tolerance policies” and “anti-bullying training.” 

The great psychologist, Dennis Waitley, once asked, “How can you motivate someone by teaching them the negative of an idea?”  

A recent study in northern Texas concluded that students at schools with anti-bullying programs might actually be more likely to become victims of bullying. It also found that students at schools without bullying programs were less likely to become victims. The conclusion was “No Bullying" programs actually taught people how to be bullies.

It is interesting that most of the Ten Commandments begin with “Thou shalt not…” In other words, “Don’t do this.” But when Jesus is asked, “What is the greatest Commandment?” he chooses two “positive” responses: “Love God and Love People.” In other words: “Do this!”

Being a good steward means accepting responsibility for the well-being of others. Perhaps most of the world’s ills could be addressed, not by so-called “corrective measures" (anti programs) but rather, by learning how to care for others. After all, is not war just an extreme form of bullying?

Loving others is not about avoiding bad behavior toward them, it is about caring for them.

If someone asked you, “Are you my guardian?” how would you respond?

Dear God: Teach me to treat others the way I want to be treated.

“Change the changeable, accept the unchangeable, and remove yourself from the unacceptable.” ~Denis Waitley, Founding member of the National Council for Self-Esteem (b1933)

©2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.