Self? Image?

You are made in the image of what you desire. ~Thomas Merton, Trappist monk and mystic (1915-1968) 

Javier was big. Not just big for an 8^th grader, but big by any standard. Even in 7^th grade he could throw a football the length of the parking lot. Fortunately, Javier was usually good-natured and friendly. He never used his size to take advantage of the other students. On the other hand, because of his size, the other students often deferred to him. So, by default, he often got his way.

Mr. Antonio was the Teaching Assistant (TA) for the Kindergarten Class. But, at 6 feet, 8 inches tall, he towered over everyone, even Javier.

No one really knew how the disagreement started or, for that matter, what it was about. The only thing for sure was that the two of them (Javier and Mr. Antonio) were standing face-to-face in the middle of the playground with their voices steadily escalating in volume.

As a student, Javier should have done whatever the TA told him to do. This time however, Javier had chosen to stand his ground. Now, students were noticing the confrontation; some stopped playing and turned to see what was going on. Others sat on the benches along the exterior walls and just watched.

Finally, the fracas caught the attention of the school principal. She arrived on the scene and with five simple words: “Javier, come to my office,” it ended as quickly as it started. Javier received a disciplinary slip and nothing more was said about the incident.

At 7:25 am the next day, Mr. Antonio parked his old Honda Civic in the teacher’s lot and headed for the Kindergarten classroom.  He surveyed the room to make sure everything was in order. In the process he instinctively reached for the cell phone in his hip pocket where it should have been. It wasn’t there. He quickly patted himself down. No luck. “I must have left it in the car,” he thought. Giving the classroom a last glance, he headed for the parking lot.

As he neared his car, he noticed something white stuck under the windshield wiper. It appeared to be a small envelope. He located his cell phone on the passenger’s seat then plucked the envelope from its resting place. Mr. Antonio opened the envelope and read the enclosed note. He paused, looked around and then read it again. After a moment’s consideration, he headed for the Principal’s Office.

The Principal sat at her desk staring at her computer screen. Mr. Antonio entered without knocking. “I need to show you…” but his voice trailed off when he noticed a similar white envelope on the Principal’s desk. “Have you read it?” she asked, without looking away from the screen. “Yes,” he replied. “Twice.” “Then we don’t need to discuss it, do we?” responded the Principal, looking up from her screen with a glimmer of a smile. “No, I guess not,” replied Mr. Antonio. He turned and exited the office.

The note lay open on the Principal’s desk. It read simply: “I’m sorry for the way I behaved yesterday. I messed up. Please forgive me, Javier.” 

Maturity is not about learning to navigate flawlessly through life’s treacherous waters. Rather, it is about how we respond when we “mess up.” And, we will mess up. Perfection is the goal, but the law is still Murphy’s.

The issue we must confront daily is “image” versus “self.” Image is how others perceive us or how we want them to perceive us. “Self” is the real deal…the real us. The problem is when the two are in conflict with each other – when we want to look good even though we know we are wrong.

The conflict between image and self arises in all walks of life: business, family, politics and even, sad to say, religion. We create images for ourselves we can’t live up to. Then when things go awry, we are left with only two choices: to get in contact with our “self” and admit our fault or to protect our image by placing blame, arguing beyond rationality, covering up, or denial.

Javier knew the answer was to do the right thing – to take responsibility for his actions and admit fault. As a result, he not only freed himself to live with a clear conscience, but he mended the relationships which had been strained.

We are all called to be the persons God created us to be. After all, we are smarter than an 8^th grader; aren’t we?

Dear God: Help me to become the person you created me to be rather the person I am not.

“You are who you are when nobody's watching.” ~Stephen Fry, English actor, screenwriter, author, playwright, journalist, poet, comedian, television and radio presenter, film director, activist, and board member of Norwich City Football Club. (b1957)

©2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

“90 Second Stewardship” is a reflection on being a Christian Steward in a secular and sometimes harsh world. This reflection is written by Deacon James E. Carper, Director of Marketing and Development at Holy Name of Jesus School in south/central Los Angeles. All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the “© 2013 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message. Questions or comments may be directed to Jim Carper by return e-mail or at the contact information found below.

 

UNSUBSCRIBE

Our records indicate that you like receiving e-mail from 90 Second Stewardship. If you would prefer not to receive email from this ministry, please send an email to 90.second.steward@gmail.com and I will remove you from this e-mail list. Please do not click Junk Mail, or filter this message as SPAM.