Comparison Shopping

“Joy is not in things, it is in us.” ~Richard Wagner, German dramatic composer and theorist (1813-1883).


My fingers glided carefully over the black, gun metal surface of the flat oblong case. It was pristine, without a single finger print or blemish. I carefully pushed the button latch and lifted the lid. Virgin hinges gave gentle resistance. Inside I was greeted by the anticipated array of shiny black keys. The interior was sterile: no dust, no prints, no nada. I stared inside for another moment or two then deftly snapped the lid shut. Carefully I returned my new Dell laptop to its bubble wrap sheath and then to the box in which it has arrived. “You gotta Dell Dude!” the old slogan rang in my ears.

It had taken me two weeks to finally decide to free the new computer from the box in which it was shipped. After all, once I opened it, the computer wouldn’t be new any more, would it? I still wasn’t quite ready to boot it up, however. That pleasure would be saved for another day. The box, with the lap top safely inside, fit perfectly in the file drawer of my desk. In it went. I closed the drawer with a smile.

This was the final step of months spent trying to find the “best deal” on this particular lap top. I had poured over newspaper ads and checked the advanced notices which came directly to my desk top at work. Twice I had attempted to order this particular model at an “unbelievable rock bottom price” only to find it was out of stock. Finally, I was able to order the next to last one in stock at the lowest price I had found any where. Breathing a sigh of satisfaction, I headed downstairs for my favorite Sunday treat...my first cup of fresh, hot coffee.

When I arrived on the back deck, coffee in hand, Teresa was already enjoying her favorite Sunday treat. The Sunday paper was strewn about the patio table, located just outside the exterior door to our family room. Teresa sat contentedly at the glass top table, with her cup of coffee, reading the paper and periodically commiserating with the blue jay family which occupies our oleander tree. I sat down next to her and began absent-mindedly picking through the newspaper ads while sipping at my coffee.

My eye fell on the ad for one of those big box office supply stores. At first I simply glanced at the cover. Moments passed... then something caught my eye. Leaning in, I noticed there was a picture of a laptop on the cover. A laptop which looked just like mine and the cost? …hundreds less! Cursing loud enough to startle Teresa I tore open the ad to assess the financial damage…by how much had I been ripped off. I poured through the description of the machine, which was sparse to say the least. Frustrated I headed upstairs, yanked open the drawer and extricated the owner’s manual from the laptop box…by this time I was fuming. A quick comparison indicated the advertised machine was the same as mine…except the price.

I headed for our desk top to look up the ad online…hoping to find more comparative information. While I was pounding away at the keys, Teresa wandered into the computer room with her second cup of coffee. She watched calmly while I swore at the screen. Finally, I turned away from the desktop to face her. “They’re the same,” I said dejectedly. I over paid. Teresa glanced at the ad. “Doesn’t your lap top have that built in camera thing?” she asked innocently. “Yeh, I guess?” “And didn’t you get a case and some extra memory with it?” she continued. “Umm, yeh.” (I was starting to feel very sheepish all of a sudden). She pointed at the ad. I don’t think you get any of that stuff with this one.” (pause) “Besides, this one only comes in pink.” She handed me the ad and left the room. Suddenly my computer didn’t seem so new any more. In a matter of minutes I had destroyed my joy.

Any true spirituality calls us to a life of joy and fulfillment…to live a happier life. Stewardship is a spirituality…a way of living…a way to a better life. It does not, as some might believe, call us to a life of oppressive requirements or obligations…a giving through guilt program so to speak. Rather stewardship calls us to a life of joy, abundance and freedom.

Unfortunately most of us suffer from a neurosis which tends to destroy or mitigate our happiness. Rather than living a life of gratitude and thankfulness we sabotage our joy through guilt and envy. Guilt is insidious in that we are often so happy we somehow find a way to feel guilty for our happiness. It is the joy itself which becomes the source of our unhappiness.

Envy, which was the case with me and my new lap top, is that nagging perception that someone got more than I did…someone else got a better deal, a better break, a bigger portion or just plain more than I did. This doesn’t just apply to money and possessions, however. We become envious when others get more attention, a friendlier hello, more praise, a better title or even a nicer desk with a better location.

Happiness, however does not, can not, operate on a comparative basis. It can not be based on what I have and how it compares to how much someone else has. Why? Because there will always be someone else who has more! Someone else will always have gotten a better deal. If we base our happiness on a comparison of what we have to what everyone else has then ultimately the only happy person in the world will be the richest one (unless of course that person feels guilty about being happy.) Following a comparative approach to happiness makes us materialistically manic-depressive. Right now I’m joyful because I have a new car. A moment later I’m depressed because someone else got a nicer model or a better deal.

Stewardship calls us to an “attitude of gratitude”. If we are truly grateful for what we have joy follows naturally and can’t be shaken by comparisons. In my situation it wouldn’t have mattered if someone did pay a little less for the same lap top I purchased (and not a pink one either). I would still be experiencing the same joy I am right now as I type this reflection. If we are truly grateful for what we have our joy can not be sabotaged or taken from us. Otherwise we will “spend” our lives trying to keep up with the Jones and “SPEND” is the operative word.


Dear God: Teach me to be grateful for all that I have.


“Envy is the art of counting the other fellow’s blessings instead of your own.” ~Harold Coffin, humorist for the Associated Press (1905-1981)


© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.

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