Reception Perception

“You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” ~Source unknown


“Dammit!” The side view mirror of the big, black, SUV whisked past my face, narrowly missing my nose by only an inch or two. The driver kept going, oblivious to the fact he had nearly given me a frontal lobotomy. It was Friday evening at Saint Monica’s Catholic Community and all heaven was breaking loose. Concurrently there was a High School musical, a Confirmation rehearsal, with a reception to follow, and the Young Ministering Adults were holding one of their famous “Coffee Houses”. Adding a layer of complexity, one of the ministries was conducting an unscheduled drop off of food, clothing and toys. Some of their delivery vehicles were double parked in the lot blocking one of the exit routes.

The head of our parking ministry was stranded at work and the usual backups were unavailable. I stepped in to try to help out until the ministry head got there, but within minutes I realized why I don’t do parking ministry. My only saving grace was a group of volunteers from the Santa Monica Community College Honor Society who help out from time to time. Our neighbor, St. Paul’s Lutheran Church, had offered up half of their parking lot to take some of the pressure off ours.

The “drill” was simple, or seemingly so. Armed with sheets of directions to alternate parking lots my partner (a college student who hailed from Hong Kong) and I stopped each car at the front entrance to discern what event they were attending, were they dropping off or parking, did they need a handicap spot, and the general size of the vehicle (some of our parking spaces are bigger than others). As it turned out, it wasn’t simple at all.

It was readily apparent each driver arrived at the edge of our domain with their own unique combination of objectives, attitudes and expectations. What was mystifying is all the events they were attending were pleasant, joyful, entertaining or meaningful and yet we found ourselves confronting stress, angst, aggression, impatience and varying degrees of frustration. Our “one size fits all” approach wasn’t working. It was time for a new game plan. So, instead of focusing on what we wanted (getting the maximum number of cars in a minimum of space in the shortest time possible), we adjusted our approach. We tried to discern what the drivers wanted.

We turned up the charm level to near “overly friendly” and asked questions such as, “do you need to be closer to the event location or would you prefer a quick getaway?” If they were just picking up or dropping off we showed them where they could park temporarily and the easiest egress. If they had a particularly nice car (or a particularly large one) we suggested alternate parking areas where their “nice car wouldn’t get dinged.” If someone walked up, having obviously parked elsewhere, we thanked them for doing so. The process was still hectic, but we soon discovered we were enjoying ourselves and before we knew it the events had started and our task was over. I sent the college students to the food line at the reception. It was after 8:00 PM and I still had a 45 minute drive home. I headed for my car sensing my own angst over the long drive.

Business consultants will tell you the most important employee in any company is the receptionist. Everybody’s first impression of a company comes from the person who greets them (or didn’t greet them). This applies to the world at large as well. Whenever we encounter another human being we are the face of whatever we represent at the time. Whether we are greeting a person in the lobby of our business, the driveway or the doorway of our church, the reception area of a funeral home or even at our own front door, at that moment we are the face of that business, organization, group or family. When I greet a person at my front door they will draw conclusions about my family based upon their encounter with me.

The "guests" which I encountered at the driveway to Saint Monica’s parking lot drew conclusions about the parish based upon their interaction with my partner and me. Many of them allowed their evening to be conditioned by that interaction good or bad. Further, it didn’t matter the attitude they brought with them. Even if they were downright rude they evaluated the encounter based, not upon their behavior, but upon how I responded.

As Stewards of our faith…as Stewards of our Christianity we are the receptionists of our faith. People will make judgments and draw conclusions about our faith based upon their encounters with us. We are the doorways to Christianity (or whatever faith we profess) and the way people are treated at those doorways has a telling effect as to how those who didn’t know us before see us after the experience. In short, we are the face of Christ to the community.

Again, it matters not how people treat us in these encounters. They may be hateful and mean-spirited, but they will still judge us (and Christianity) upon our response; our reaction…not the stimulus to which we were reacting. The rest of their day will be colored by that encounter…good or bad. In short we are called to love them. Jesus continued to love no matter how people treated Him…even when people hated Him…even when they killed Him.

As Stewards of our faith, the practice of that faith begins, not when we arrive at church, but when we leave the church parking lot and take our faith into the world. We are receptionists at the doorway of our faith, not sentries

Dear God, teach me, not to preach the faith which I practice, but to practice the faith which I preach.

“The first impression will either open the door or close it.” ~Nicolas Sparks, American novelist and screenwriter (b 1965)

© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.
“90 Second Stewardship” All rights are reserved. You are welcome and encouraged to forward this e-mail to family and friends provided the”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” is included along with this message. Organizations, whether for or non profit, are required to receive written approval before reproducing these reflections. If written approval is given the ”© 2010 James E. Carper. All rights reserved.” must be included along with this message.